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The illustration below show how coffee is sometimes produced

The illustration below show how coffee is sometimes produced 7rKrX

The information describes the production of coffee making use of the dry method. Overall, the dry method of manufacturing coffee involves a step-by-step process. It is also clear that there are some tools and equipments necessary in order for the product to be produced. In detail, firstly, the beans are hand sorted, placed and cleaned through sieve and then dried in the sun for a month. It then needs to be ranked and turned before storing them in a silo. The next stage is transferring the beans to mill with the use of the truck where it undergo a further three stages. The sequence is as follows: hulling; grading: and bagging. The product can now be sold. Furthermore the output can be roasted, packed, and made available in the market as a roasted bean

The information This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :characterizesportrays
describes
 the production of coffee making This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 of the dry method.

Overall
, the dry method of manufacturing coffee involves a step-by-step process. It is also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :apparent
clear
 that there are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 tools and equipments necessary in order for the product to be produced
.

In detail, firstly
, the beans are hand sorted, placed and cleaned through sieve and then dried in the sun for a month. It then needs to be ranked
 and turned This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 storing them in a silo.

The next
 stage is transferring the beans to mill with the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 of the truck where it Did you mean "undergoes"?undergoes
undergo
 a further
 three stages. The sequence is as follows: hulling; grading: and bagging. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
 product can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :nowadays
now
be sold
. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Furthermore,
Furthermore
 the output can be roasted
, packed, and made available in the market as a roasted Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphbean.bean!bean?bean:bean,bean;
bean

IELTS essay The illustration below show how coffee is sometimes produced

Essay

American English

4 paragraphs

133 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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