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The growth of the online shopping will one-day lead to the closure of shopping in cities. Do you agree or disagree?

The growth of the online shopping will one-day lead to the closure of shopping in cities. PXJ3d
It is a growing trend toward integrating technology into people’s activities including shopping. However, many reckon that the proliferation in online shopping will replace it with face-to-face shopping, I strongly believe that we will enjoy face-to-face shopping in future due to socializing and reliability that it offers. To begin with, nowadays, shopping is considering to be a hobby rather than a daily task for many people. Apparently, it helps people to unwind after a long week of diligent working or studying, and experience a lively atmosphere of the crowd rather than an intensive lonely atmosphere in the room. Take women who are said to be shopaholic as an example. They enjoy shopping since they like socializing and use bargaining to have more intra-personal interaction with others, while in online shopping these merits will be eliminated. Secondly, face-to-face shopping still holds its value as it is more reliable way of purchasing items. Clothing items which need to be tried on are the best example of this material. Individual, those who are into fashion in particular, are enthusiastic about feeling the material and check their appearance when they wear it. These enjoyments will be missed in online shopping. In conclusion, despite the convenience in conjunction with time saving that online shopping offer, I strongly believe that face-to-face shopping still will be an appealing way of purchasing among a number of groups.
It is a growing trend toward integrating technology into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s activities including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reckon that the proliferation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will replace it with face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, I
strongly
believe that we will enjoy face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in future due to socializing and reliability that it offers.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is considering to be a hobby
rather
than a daily task for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Apparently
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to unwind after a long week of diligent working or studying, and experience a lively atmosphere of the crowd
rather
than an intensive lonely atmosphere in the room. Take women who
are said
to be shopaholic as an example. They enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
since they like socializing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
bargaining to have more
Possible spelling mistake found.
intra-personal
interaction with others, while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
these merits will
be eliminated
.

Secondly
, face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
still
holds its value as it is more reliable way of purchasing items. Clothing items which need to
be tried
on are the best example of this material. Individual, those who are into fashion
in particular
, are enthusiastic about feeling the material and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their appearance when they wear it. These enjoyments will
be missed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping.

In conclusion
, despite the convenience in conjunction with time saving that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
offer, I
strongly
believe that face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
still
will be an appealing way of purchasing among a number of groups.
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IELTS essay The growth of the online shopping will one-day lead to the closure of shopping in cities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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