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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.

Internet is one of the breakthrough innovations in the history of mankind which has facilitated lots of things, online shopping being the one. There are two schools of thought for the same. One of them argues, this will one day lead to all shops being closed while the other says it will increase the number of shops. Personally, I believe that it is creating a bigger market for shopkeepers rather than destroying it. First of all, anything being sold digitally or offline is by a physical person or entity. Only different thing is, a person doesn't need to buy land and set up an infrastructure to start selling online. If there is value in the product that someone has, people across the world will buy it. Hence, this has increased the scope of who can be a shopkeeper. Secondly, there are some things that people would prefer to purchase only from physical stores like jewellery. Additionally, if you need something urgently, you would have to visit a nearby shop to get that. Also, there is a sense of mutual trust between a shopkeeper and a customer which can't be achieved while shopping digitally. Hence, there would always be a need for tangible markets where people can go and get items as they please. In my opinion, online shopping has just opened up the market where shopkeepers can sell worldwide and customers can buy anything they want from anywhere they want. Hence, I would say it is a boon for everyone rather than being a bane and we should really encourage digital markets in the coming future. As it is pretty evident from above, I disagree with the statement that the growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.
Internet is one of the breakthrough innovations in the history of mankind which has facilitated lots of things,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
being the one. There are two schools of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
for the same. One of them argues, this will one day lead to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
being closed
while the other says it will increase the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
Personally
, I believe that it is creating a bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
for shopkeepers
rather
than destroying it.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, anything
being sold
digitally
or offline is by a physical person or entity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
thing is, a person doesn't need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
land and set up an infrastructure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. If there is value in the product that someone has,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
across the world will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.
Hence
, this has increased the scope of who can be a shopkeeper.

Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from physical stores like
Possible spelling mistake. ‘jewellery’ is British English.
jewellery
.
Additionally
, if you need something
urgently
, you would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
visit a nearby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that.
Also
, there is a sense of mutual trust between a shopkeeper and a customer which can't
be achieved
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
digitally
.
Hence
, there would always be a need for tangible markets where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can go and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
items as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
opened up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
where shopkeepers can sell worldwide and customers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything they want from anywhere they want.
Hence
, I would say it is a boon for everyone
rather
than being a
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
bane and
we should
really
encourage digital markets in the coming future. As it is pretty evident from above, I disagree with the statement that the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will one day lead to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in towns and cities closing.
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IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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