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Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.8

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. v. 8
Without any doubt higher scholarship plays a tremendous role in today’s community. While a significant group of individuals believes that the only purpose of an academic improvement is to rectify position prospects, while, others believe that It not only assists people to have preferable career opportunities but also gives them a good understanding regarding their lives. To begin with, as a result of studying, graduates have better opportunities to be successful in finding a favourite career. Nowadays, most of rewarding jobs are competitive, and the significance of job seekers always tries to settle a favourable career. Moreover, high ranked jobs as well as information technology, medicine, and law demand learning. Plus, having academic skills for settlement provides a broad spectrum for selection to choose a place or enhance the position of the company. So, it is prominent for each person to study at collage for preferring an appropriate appointment. Even though, there are people argue that university training has more benefits for association and individuals. They support this view that literacy has more widespread influences on society. It can be illustrated by an example, in developed countries have higher information is necessary this is because they should have enough knowledge and information for interaction with people and culture. Furthermore, graduated parents are capable to train children better and this approach will affect the coming generation. Although, study at a lower age is more effective, in some countries the governments supply different ages to continue their studies. This is because they thought educated parents will have better options for their children. In conclusion, although both sides of this argument have indisputable virtues, however, I feel that educational institution, not only gives people better jobs but also is beneficial for both individuals and nation.
Without any doubt higher scholarship plays a tremendous role in
today
’s community. While a significant group of individuals believes that the
only
purpose of an academic improvement is to rectify position prospects, while, others believe that It not
only
assists
people
to have preferable career opportunities
but
also
gives them a
good
understanding regarding their
lives
.

To
begin
with,
as a result
of studying, graduates have
better
opportunities to be successful in finding a
favourite
career. Nowadays, most of rewarding
jobs
are competitive, and the significance of
job
seekers always tries to settle a
favourable
career.
Moreover
, high ranked
jobs
as well
as information technology, medicine, and law demand learning. Plus, having academic
skills
for settlement provides a broad spectrum for selection to choose a place or enhance the position of the
company
.
So
, it is prominent for each person to study at collage for preferring an appropriate appointment.

Even though
, there are
people
argue that university training has more benefits for association and individuals. They support this view that literacy has more widespread influences on society. It can
be illustrated
by an example, in
developed countries
have higher information is necessary this is
because
they should have
enough
knowledge and information for interaction with
people
and culture.
Furthermore
, graduated parents are capable to train children
better
and this approach will affect the coming generation. Although, study at a lower age is more effective, in
some
countries the
governments
supply
different
ages to continue their studies. This is
because
they
thought
educated parents will have
better
options for their children.

In conclusion
, although both sides of this argument have indisputable virtues,
however
, I feel that educational institution, not
only
gives
people
better
jobs
but
also
is beneficial for both individuals and nation.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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