Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing. v. 3
Some people think that online stores will replace physical stores one day as they are becoming more and more popular. Personally, I agree that the popularity of online shopping will continue growing, but I disagree that physical stores will all disappear because of the trend. One the one hand, online shopping has some unique benefits that fits perfectly into our lifestyle nowadays. One is that it is convenient for people to shop anywhere and anytime with their own devices. For example, people can order a bag of coffee beans on their way home that, which can be delivered to their addresses next day. So instead of driving to stores and waiting in line for checkout, people can spend the time saved doing more meaningful things. Furthermore, online shopping allows people to buy things make and sell in other countries, and businesses and individuals can sell their local products to other places in the world. This kind of trade definitely has a positive effect on the global economy and cultural transmission. On the other hand, I still believe that physical stores will remain as an essential part in people’s daily life. One of the main reasons is that many people prefer to see the actual product and try it before making the decision. This can be explained by the fact that people still go to the department stores to pick their outfits, try them on, see how they match with their personal styles, and feel if they like the materials or not, which is not possible through online shopping. Another point to be made is that shopping in stores is simply an activity that people enjoy. Although we can order almost everything online today, there are still many people visiting local stores regularly, such as farmers market where they can buy fresh produce and, more importantly, chat with people. In conclusion, while I agree the growth of online shopping will continue, I believe that physical stores will remain in our lives because of its personal and interactive experience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
will replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
one day as they are becoming more and more popular.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will continue growing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
will all disappear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the trend.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unique benefits that fits
perfectly
into our lifestyle nowadays. One is that it is convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to shop anywhere and anytime with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
devices.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can order a bag of coffee beans on their way home that, which can
be delivered
to their addresses
next
day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
instead
of driving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and waiting in line for checkout,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can spend the time saved doing more meaningful things.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
and sell in other countries, and businesses and individuals can sell their local products to other places in the world. This kind of trade definitely has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the global economy and cultural transmission.

On the other hand
, I
still
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
will remain as an essential part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily life. One of the main reasons is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the actual product and try it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making the decision. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
go to the department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
to pick their outfits, try them on,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how they match with their personal styles, and feel if they like the materials or not, which is not possible through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. Another point to
be made
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
is
simply
an activity that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy. Although we can order almost everything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
regularly
, such as farmers market where they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
fresh produce and, more
importantly
, chat with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will continue, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
will remain in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its personal and interactive experience.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts