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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops In town and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree v.2

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops In town and cities closing. v. 2
The development of internet purchasing leads to the shutting down of whole stores in urban and rural areas. I disagree with this statement and elaborate on this essay. Firstly, the main negative of online shopping exists a supply of low or duplicate products. To explain, in direct sales people can check the quality and condition when they buy a commodity. For instance, in India, a survey conducted by MBA students from Amirtha International college shows 65 % of online customers were not satisfied with the quality of the product. While people cannot get what they want particularly in dress, electronic items, and groceries. Moreover, the cost of the goods includes service charges where people need to pay more than the actual price. Thus, it is clear e-shopping not a reason to close shop in cities. Secondly, an important drawback of electronic commerce is a waste of time. To elaborate, it has to take more length of period to deliver the product compared to an immediate purchase. For example, in online shopping to get a dress need to wait for at least five days, at the same time timely purchase can obtain a material there itself as own wish. In addition, it has more options when shopping. Thus, it is an evident commodity buy from a shop that has more benefits. So, people always suggest direct shops. To conclude, I think commerce shopping has few benefits, even though taking goods from shops or malls has better options. E-shopping is not the cause of the closing of retail shops and big malls.
The development of internet purchasing leads to the shutting down of whole stores in urban and rural areas. I disagree with this statement and elaborate on this essay.

Firstly
, the main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
exists a supply of low or duplicate products. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, in direct sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the quality and condition when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a commodity.
For instance
, in India, a survey conducted by MBA students from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amirtha
International college
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
65 % of online customers were not satisfied with the quality of the product. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what they want
particularly
in dress, electronic items, and groceries.
Moreover
, the cost of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
includes service charges where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to pay more than the actual price.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
e-shopping not a reason to close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
in cities.

Secondly
, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
drawback of electronic commerce is a waste of time. To elaborate, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take more length of period to deliver the product compared to an immediate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
For example
, in online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a dress need to wait for at least five days, at the same time timely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
can obtain a material there itself as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wish.
In addition
, it has more options when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
Thus
, it is an evident commodity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
that has more benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always suggest direct shops.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
commerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has few benefits,
even though
taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
or malls has better options. E-shopping is not the cause of the closing of retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
malls.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops In town and cities closing. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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