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The growing number people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that tge best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical lessons in the school curriculum. To wh v.1

The growing number people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that tge best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical lessons in the school curriculum. To wh v. 1
The idea of whether to invest in giving state buildings a facelift rather than building new ones is debatable. I strongly agree that government should consider re-branding old structures as this will help save cost and preserve our cultural heritage. To begin, constructing new offices by the state is going to increase the financial burden of the government, this is because of the ever increasing cost of buying building materials. You will agree, that a lower amount will be spent in renovating an existing monument when compared to raising a new one from scratch. For example, recently, Surulere local government carried out a comparative cost analysis on the financial implication of building a new library versus remodelling the existing one. The result showed a sixty percent variance in favour of the latter. In addition to the point raised above, repositioning existing public houses is a great way of preserving our inheritance. If these old buildings are abandoned for new ones, the upcoming generation may miss out of some essential aspects of our history as every existing edifice has a story that can be communicated to those that will come after us. For instance, the French government recently decided to rebuild the burnt Novare cathedral because of its important place in the history of the country. In summary, restoring existing structures to previous state will help optimize cost which can be used to provide other forms of development. It will also give our children the opportunity to learn from stories behind these important buildings.
The
idea
of whether to invest in giving state
buildings
a facelift
rather
than
building
new
ones
is debatable. I
strongly
agree
that
government
should consider re-branding
old
structures as this will
help
save
cost
and preserve our cultural heritage.

To
begin
, constructing
new
offices by the state is going to increase the financial burden of the
government
, this is
because
of the
ever increasing
cost
of buying
building
materials. You will
agree
, that a lower amount will
be spent
in renovating an
existing
monument when compared to raising a
new
one from scratch.
For example
, recently,
Surulere
local
government
carried out a comparative
cost
analysis on the financial implication of
building
a
new
library versus
remodelling
the
existing
one. The result
showed
a sixty percent variance in
favour
of the latter.

In addition
to the point raised above, repositioning
existing
public
houses
is a great way of preserving our inheritance. If these
old
buildings
are abandoned
for
new
ones
, the upcoming generation may miss out of
some
essential aspects of our history as every
existing
edifice has a story that can
be communicated
to those that will
come
after us.
For instance
, the French
government
recently decided to rebuild the burnt
Novare
cathedral
because
of its
important
place in the history of the country.

In summary, restoring
existing
structures to previous state will
help
optimize
cost
which can be
used
to provide other forms of development. It will
also
give our children the opportunity to learn from stories behind these
important
buildings
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The growing number people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that tge best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical lessons in the school curriculum. To wh v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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