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The growing number people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that tge best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical lessons in the school curriculum. To wh v.1

The growing number people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that tge best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical lessons in the school curriculum. To wh v. 1
The idea of whether to invest in giving state buildings a facelift rather than building new ones is debatable. I strongly agree that government should consider re-branding old structures as this will help save cost and preserve our cultural heritage. To begin, constructing new offices by the state is going to increase the financial burden of the government, this is because of the ever increasing cost of buying building materials. You will agree, that a lower amount will be spent in renovating an existing monument when compared to raising a new one from scratch. For example, recently, Surulere local government carried out a comparative cost analysis on the financial implication of building a new library versus remodelling the existing one. The result showed a sixty percent variance in favour of the latter. In addition to the point raised above, repositioning existing public houses is a great way of preserving our inheritance. If these old buildings are abandoned for new ones, the upcoming generation may miss out of some essential aspects of our history as every existing edifice has a story that can be communicated to those that will come after us. For instance, the French government recently decided to rebuild the burnt Novare cathedral because of its important place in the history of the country. In summary, restoring existing structures to previous state will help optimize cost which can be used to provide other forms of development. It will also give our children the opportunity to learn from stories behind these important buildings.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of whether to invest in giving state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
a facelift
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
is debatable. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should consider re-branding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
structures as this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
and preserve our cultural heritage.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
offices by the state is going to increase the financial burden of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
materials. You will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, that a lower amount will
be spent
in renovating an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
monument when compared to raising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one from scratch.
For example
, recently,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Surulere
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
carried out a comparative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
analysis on the financial implication of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
library versus
Possible spelling mistake. 'remodelling' is British English.
remodelling
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
one. The result
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a sixty percent variance in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the latter.

In addition
to the point raised above, repositioning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
is a great way of preserving our inheritance. If these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are abandoned
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, the upcoming generation may miss out of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential aspects of our history as every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
edifice has a story that can
be communicated
to those that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
after us.
For instance
, the French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
recently decided to rebuild the burnt
Possible spelling mistake found.
Novare
cathedral
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place in the history of the country.

In summary, restoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
structures to previous state will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
optimize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to provide other forms of development. It will
also
give our children the opportunity to learn from stories behind these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The growing number people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that tge best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical lessons in the school curriculum. To wh v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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