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Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exams? v.1

Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exams? v. 1
It is believed that new cities should have more public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres. I disagree with this view because creating market areas for people to buy and sell can boost the economic growth of the cities and also influence their social lives. Sports materials, which could be found at gym centres, can improve the overall life of people. Many suffer challenging health issues because they blame it on their inability to get enough exercise. But when they can have access to where physical activities are encouraged, they will become fit and enjoy a more stable health. For instance, people in Kosofe, one of Nigeria's smallest towns, have been freely engaging in body building activities, thanks to the government. This has led to a better life among them. Granted, people need to be healthy and this is offered freely through exercise, but it is more important to boost the economy of every individual city. Shopping centres open doors to unlimited financial transactions among people in every city. When new towns are planned, having market places should be given more attention. For instance, the Nigerian government has recently launched a plaza situated in the heart of Abuja, the country's capital. Not only has this encouraged more people to buy and sell, it has also attracted foreign investors who invested in the country and floods it with hard currencies. This has impacted the GDP of the nation. In conclusion, while having sports centres and amusement parks will help enhance the healthy lifestyle of people, I hold firmly that economic activities, spurred by building a market, should have a better place in every town's planning.
It
is believed
that new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
should have more public parks and sports facilities than shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. I disagree with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
creating market areas for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and sell can boost the economic growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
also
influence their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Sports materials, which could
be found
at gym
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
overall
life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
suffer challenging health issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they blame it on their inability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
exercise.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when they can have access to where physical activities
are encouraged
, they will become fit and enjoy a more stable health.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kosofe
, one of Nigeria's smallest towns, have been
freely
engaging in body building activities, thanks to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. This has led to a better life among them.

Granted,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to be healthy and this
is offered
freely
through exercise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to boost the economy of every individual city. Shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
open doors to unlimited financial transactions among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in every city. When new towns
are planned
, having market places should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more attention.
For instance
, the Nigerian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has recently launched a plaza situated in the heart of Abuja, the country's capital. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has this encouraged more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and sell, it has
also
attracted foreign investors who invested in the country and floods it with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
currencies. This has impacted the GDP of the nation.

In conclusion
, while having sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and amusement parks will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
enhance the healthy lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I hold
firmly
that economic activities, spurred by building a market, should have a better place in every town's planning.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exams? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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