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Some languages are increasingly spoke in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly declining. Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

Some languages are increasingly spoke in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly declining. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1
Researching family history is becoming popular with the people. Getting to know about the roots, is instilled by curiosity to learn about different cultures and regions from which their roots belong as well as disease patterns in the family which can be seen beneficial for their health as well as tourism. Curiosity is one of the main reasons for individuals to find out more about their family background. People are becoming more aware as they read about mass migrations of individuals immigrating to different countries, which generates questions about their background in their mind. Getting to know more about the background, encourages people to discover different cultures and places which promotes tourism. For instance, if a person has never visited a country before, he would have another reason to visit and to know more about the culture and the place and promotes tourism. Another reason for exploring the background is it helps them to discover the trends in the family tree. Some gifts, skills, and diseases are hereditary, which can be interesting for people to learn, how many others in their family shared these from previous generations. For example, in the case of diseases, some of these could be avoided by taking necessary precautions, which can improve the living condition. In conclusion, it can be advantageous for people to learn more about the family's background and origins. Not only they get to know more about the skills, and patterns in the tree, but also it encourages people to discover new places.
Researching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
history is becoming popular with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Getting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about the roots,
is instilled
by curiosity to learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and regions from which their roots belong
as well
as disease patterns in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
beneficial for their health
as well
as tourism.

Curiosity is one of the main reasons for individuals to find out more about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are becoming more aware as they read about mass migrations of individuals immigrating to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, which generates questions about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
in their mind. Getting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
more about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
, encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to discover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and places which promotes tourism.
For instance
, if a person has never visited a country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, he would have another reason to visit and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
more about the culture and the place and promotes tourism.

Another reason for exploring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to discover the trends in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
tree.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
gifts,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and diseases are hereditary, which can be interesting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn, how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
shared these from previous generations.
For example
, in the case of diseases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these could
be avoided
by taking necessary precautions, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the living condition.

In conclusion
, it can be advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn more about the family's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
and origins. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
more about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and patterns in the tree,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to discover new places.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some languages are increasingly spoke in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly declining. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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