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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system in the effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. What extent do you agree or disagree?

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system in the effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. What extent oRElD
Increasing number of obese individuals are being surplus burden for the public health system. Some people take the view that indroducing sport lessons into school curriculam would be the best way to tackle this issue. Personally, l am in favour of this notion as it seems to be the most preferable to deal with this problem. At the outset, the best method to prevent the increase in number of overweight populace is to adding more sport-related lessons to school teaching system. In providing a strong case for this statement, this approach will certainly ensure that next generation will be relatively healthier. Looking at the information in a more detail, more that half obesity in population are triggered by the lack of exercise. Nevertheless, through incorporating sport classes to school syllabus may help reduce the rate obesity among people. Another point to consider is that, teaching sport lessons to children at school at the part of curriculam might encourage them to get involved in sport lessons during their life. One of the notable arguments in support of this viewpoint is that having sport lessons at school not only stimulate youngsters to do excersice but also their interest towards the sort of sports are more liable to soar. As a result, younger generation are more likely to keep doing sport lessons that can cause long lasting impact on youths' health. To summarize, although being overweight people are being significantly concern to the public health care system, l believe that adding more sport lessons into school system would be extremely beneficial to tackle this stumbling-block.
Increasing number of obese individuals are being surplus burden for the public health
system
.
Some
people
take the view that
indroducing
sport
lessons
into
school
curriculam
would be the best way to tackle this issue.
Personally
, l am in
favour
of this notion as it seems to be the most preferable to deal with this problem.

At the outset, the best method to
prevent
the increase in number of overweight populace is
to adding
more sport-related
lessons
to
school
teaching
system
. In providing a strong case for this statement, this approach will
certainly
ensure that
next
generation will be
relatively
healthier. Looking at the information in a more detail, more that half obesity in population
are triggered
by the lack of exercise.
Nevertheless
, through incorporating
sport
classes to
school
syllabus may
help
reduce
the rate obesity among
people
.

Another point to consider is that, teaching
sport
lessons
to children at
school
at the part of
curriculam
might encourage them to
get
involved in
sport
lessons
during their life. One of the notable arguments in support of this viewpoint is that having
sport
lessons
at
school
not
only
stimulate youngsters to do
excersice
but
also
their interest towards the sort of
sports
are
more liable to soar.
As a result
, younger generation are more likely to
keep
doing
sport
lessons
that can cause
long lasting
impact on youths' health.

To summarize
, although being overweight
people
are being
significantly
concern to the public health care
system
, l believe that adding more
sport
lessons
into
school
system
would be
extremely
beneficial to tackle this stumbling-block.
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IELTS essay The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system in the effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. What extent

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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