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the growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system. In an effort to deal with health issues involved, Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

the growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system. In an effort to deal with health issues involved, Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. v. 1
It is undoubtedly true that the increasing population of obese individuals is becoming a huge burden on the health sector. Consequently, some are of the opinion that incorporating more exercise lessons and sporting activities in schools is the ultimate solution. While I agree that physical education should be added to the school curriculum, I would also argue that choosing healthier diet options is another resolve to be considered. On the one hand, introducing classes on exercise equips children with the knowledge of the significance of engaging in physical activities and the essence of burning excess calories. Therefore, they can make better lifestyle decisions by totally ruling out sedentary living. For instance, only a few Nigerian adults participate in sports in the modern world, whereas, if they had been thought about its relevance at a tender age, it is very possible that a larger number of people will be found in gyms and sport stadium. On the other hand, the intake of healthy meals and drinks are very key approaches in preventing and managing obesity. This is because being overweight primarily stems from the consumption of wrong food choices such as processed meals, sweetened soda as well as alcohol. Hence, educating people on the benefits of choosing healthier diets such as fiber-rich foods which have been proven to reduce the risk of metabolic diseases and cardiovascular problems, goes a long way in helping them make informed choices of what to feed on. In conclusion, although including lessons on physical activities in school syllabuses is a good method of managing obesity, encouraging healthy dietary changes also improves the overall public health and economic expenditures.
It is
undoubtedly
true that the increasing population of obese individuals is becoming a huge burden on the health sector.
Consequently
,
some
are of the opinion that incorporating more exercise lessons and sporting activities in schools is the ultimate solution. While I
agree
that physical education should be
added
to the school curriculum, I would
also
argue that choosing healthier diet options is another resolve to
be considered
.

On the one hand, introducing classes on exercise equips children with the knowledge of the significance of engaging in physical activities and the essence of burning excess calories.
Therefore
, they can
make
better lifestyle decisions by
totally
ruling out sedentary living.
For instance
,
only
a few Nigerian adults participate in sports in the modern world, whereas, if they had been
thought
about its relevance at a tender age, it is
very
possible that a larger number of
people
will
be found
in gyms and sport stadium.

On the other hand
, the intake of healthy meals and drinks are
very
key approaches in preventing and managing obesity. This is
because
being overweight
primarily
stems from the consumption of
wrong
food choices such as processed meals, sweetened soda
as well
as alcohol.
Hence
, educating
people
on the benefits of choosing healthier diets such as fiber-rich foods which have
been proven
to
reduce
the
risk
of metabolic diseases and cardiovascular problems, goes a long way in helping them
make
informed choices of what to feed on.

In conclusion
, although including lessons on physical activities in school syllabuses is a
good
method of managing obesity, encouraging healthy dietary
changes
also
improves
the
overall
public health and economic expenditures.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay the growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system. In an effort to deal with health issues involved, Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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