Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the curriculum. qw3X
As the number of overweight people rises in this generation, several comorbidities and diseases also increase along the way. One reason for this is the lack of exercise and movement due to the advancement of technology. This is much more evident during this time of pandemic. With that being said, I definitely agree with adding more courses or programs involving physical education because preventing ourselves from getting sick is always better than finding ways to cure ourselves in the future. Firstly, our country has been experiencing a year-long lockdown. Students have started their online and modular lessons inside their homes. This has become serious problem on work-life balance. During the start of quarantine, there has been a surge in mental health issues, such as having difficulty sleeping and feeling anxious most of the time. Some people just lie down all day for they lack motivation to move. Others, on the other hand, fail to get the enough hours of sleep due to work overload. Because of these hormonal imbalances, such stressors can contribute on why a person gains weight. One way to resolve this issue is to advocate the importance of physical education and its correlation to our mental health. In this way, people, especially students, might understand its significance to our lives.
As the number of overweight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rises in this generation, several
Possible spelling mistake found.
comorbidities
and diseases
also
increase along the way. One reason for this is the lack of exercise and movement due to the advancement of technology. This is much more evident during this time of pandemic. With that
being said
, I definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with adding more courses or programs involving physical education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
preventing ourselves from getting sick is always better than finding ways to cure ourselves in the future.

Firstly
, our country has been experiencing a year-long lockdown. Students have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
their online and modular lessons inside their homes. This has become serious problem on work-life balance. During the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of quarantine, there has been a surge in mental health issues, such as having difficulty sleeping and feeling anxious most of the time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
lie down all day for they lack motivation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
. Others,
on the other hand
, fail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
hours of sleep due to work overload.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these hormonal imbalances, such stressors can contribute on why a person gains weight. One way to resolve this issue is to advocate the importance of physical education and its correlation to our mental health. In this way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
students, might understand its significance to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the curriculum.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?