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in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case?

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? MpOe
People in some countries consider owning a home much more important than renting one. Living in a self-owned home gives a feeling of stability, comfort and security. To my mind there are a lot of factors which can impact nation’s choice. To begin with, people owning a home do not have to worry about paying rent and about their landlord. Hence, they can modify their home according to their needs and feel secure in it. It is undeniable that home is the most important place for every person, so they spend quite a fortune on designing and decorating it to mace it comfortable. Some people, on the other hand, consider their home as an investment which can bring them a lot of income. Following this, I feel that whether owning a home is a positive or negative situation is quite subjective, depending on the individuals’ budget. For people who have the money to buy a big house and few financial liabilities, their house is not a burden and owning one is a positive situation for them. However, most of the middle-class families buy a big house which they can’t afford. They fund this by taking out huge loans and subsequently repay the amount over a very long time. In addition to this, they must pay property taxes and insurance which are directly proportional to the area of a home. Furthermore, the electricity and maintenance costs get added to their everyday expenses. To conclude, I feel that owning a home can be a pleasurable experience only after ensuring that citizen has enough money to do it. However, it could turn into a negative situation when a person buys a home by getting a loan which is beyond his repaying capacity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a home much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than renting one. Living in a self-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
home gives a feeling of stability, comfort and security. To my mind there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
factors which can impact nation’s choice.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a home do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about paying rent and about their landlord.
Hence
, they can modify their home according to their needs and feel secure in it. It is undeniable that home is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place for every person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they spend quite a fortune on designing and decorating it to mace it comfortable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
on the other hand
, consider their home as an investment which can bring them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
income.

Following this, I feel that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a home is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
situation is quite subjective, depending on the individuals’ budget. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have the money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and few financial liabilities, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is not a burden and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
one is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
situation for them.
However
, most of the middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
which they can’t afford. They fund this by taking out huge loans and
subsequently
repay the amount over a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long time.
In addition
to this, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay property taxes and insurance which are
directly
proportional to the area of a home.
Furthermore
, the electricity and maintenance costs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to their everyday expenses.

To conclude
, I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a home can be a pleasurable experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after ensuring that citizen has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to do it.
However
, it could turn into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
situation when a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
a home by getting a loan which is beyond his repaying capacity.
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IELTS essay in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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