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people nawadays work hard to buy more things this has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism .what extend you agree or disagree.

people nawadays work hard to buy more things this has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. what extend you agree or disagree. EGOr
these days people life became easy because they do tough work to purchase lot of new belongings. some people think due to this, various historical things have been disappeared. I largely disagree with this statement because people can save time and gain more knowledge in all fieldsTo commence with, there are some reasons why traditional values are disappearing. The predominant one is that, physical activities of person have decreased because they prefer new technology to use. TO explain it due to sedentary life style. they are suffering from various health disorders such as hypertension, obesity so in. therefore, materialistic things are used more by people instead of conventional things. One the contrary, thte are multifarious reasons why people do hard work to buy more things. Firstly, by using technology people can save their time because they can do any thing with in a secondary with the help of technology. For instance, nowadays people do online shopping from homes by using phon, labtop and internet such as from Amazon and ajio. Thus people does not need to go out because they can do number of activities from homes and offices. Secondly, also they can enhance their knowledge by using phones and laptops. It is only possible when they do work hard and earn well then after that they can purchase materialistic things. For example, students can increase their knowledge with the help of Google, shareslide because all study material available their of all distinct subjects. Therefore, pupils will be more knowledgeable by using technology. To conclude, although, it can not be ignored the traditional values have been vanished by using new products but, human life has made pleasant. it is only possible with materialistic things.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life became easy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do tough work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
new belongings.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
due to this, various historical things have
been disappeared
. I
largely
disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save time and gain more knowledge in all
Possible spelling mistake found.
fieldsTo
commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why traditional values are disappearing. The predominant one is that, physical activities of person have decreased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they prefer new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it due to sedentary life style.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
are suffering from various health disorders such as hypertension, obesity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in.
therefore
, materialistic things are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
instead
of conventional things. One the contrary,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thte
are multifarious reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more things.
Firstly
, by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save their time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can do
Did you mean "anything"?
any thing
with in a secondary with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
For instance
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do online shopping from homes by using
Possible spelling mistake found.
phon
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
labtop
and internet such as from Amazon and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ajio
.
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
does
not need to go out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can do number of activities from homes and offices.
Secondly
,
also
they can enhance their knowledge by using phones and laptops. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible when they do work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and earn well then after that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
materialistic things.
For example
, students can increase their knowledge with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of Google,
Possible spelling mistake found.
shareslide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all study material available their of all distinct subjects.
Therefore
, pupils will be more knowledgeable by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
To conclude
, although, it can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
the traditional values have
been vanished
by using new products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, human life has made pleasant.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible with materialistic things.
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IELTS essay people nawadays work hard to buy more things this has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. what extend you agree or disagree.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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