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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. pRRwy
Health issues are becoming more and more important nowadays. Many people go to the gym room, in order to maintain good body postures, and body conditions. However, there still has many people in the world, are suffering from the problem of overweight. Some critics consider that increasing physical education lessons in the schools could deal with the problem of overweight. I do not agree with this idea. Physical Education lessons offer opportunities for primary and secondary school students to learn different kinds of soports, for instance basketball, soccer, tennis and even swimming. Students could learn the skills and rules of theses kinds of sports in the physical education lessons. And the most important thing is developing students' interest in playing sports. Therefore, they could find the sports that are interested in, and become lifelong sports. Physical Education lessons are two lessons per week normally in Hong Kong. The PE lesson could seem as the fewest lessons among other subjects for instance Chinese Language, English Language, Mathematics and Liberal Studies. Incresing the lessons of Physical Education, means that the schools need to reduce the lessons of other subjects. It will become a trade-off problems.
Health issues are becoming more and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to the gym room, in order to maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
body postures, and body conditions.
However
, there
still
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world, are suffering from the problem of overweight.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
critics consider that increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
in the schools could deal with the problem of overweight. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
offer opportunities for primary and secondary school students to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
Possible spelling mistake found.
soports
,
for instance
basketball, soccer, tennis and even swimming. Students could learn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of
Did you mean "these"?
theses
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
. And the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is developing students' interest in playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Therefore
, they could find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that
are interested
in, and become lifelong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
per week
normally
in Hong Kong. The PE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
could seem as the fewest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
among other subjects
for instance
Chinese Language, English Language, Mathematics and Liberal Studies.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Incresing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
, means that the schools need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
of other subjects. It will become a trade-off problems.
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IELTS essay The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
193 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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