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Some people think that only the student who are the best academic achiever should be reverted other think that it is more important to rewarded student who show improvement. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Some people think that only the student who are the best academic achiever should be reverted other think that it is more important to rewarded student who show improvement. Discuss both these views and give your opinion Joo7a
In this contemporary era and unprecedented controversy related to reward has emerged across the globe. While a school of thoughts is of the opinion that a award should be given to student having excellent academic performance. other at loggerheads with them and argue that improving student are more entitled to the prize. This essay intends to articulate both this controversial view and thereafter I will reveal my view point On the one side, proponents of the former assertion put forward certain argeement to substantiate. predominantly, they consider that considered that this could create a highly competitive studying environment in the school and it seems that student have desire to win prize. as a consequences, school children could be encouraged to put their efforts into the study for the higher scoreon the other hand, supporter of the latter view point have their own valid reasons to justify their viewpoint. according to them, if school recognise the improving students efforts, it will encourage them to work even harder and achieve greater results. in this way, if school awarded to students who shows improvement more and more student will want to improve their grades. having aforementioned analysis into the consideration, it can be established that reward encourages students to get the highest scores. From my prospective, althrough, giving prizes to the topper is advantageous to some extent. yet, it is more beneficial if we reward student who improve their levels.
In this contemporary era and unprecedented controversy related to reward has emerged across the globe.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
of thoughts is of the opinion that
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
award should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
having excellent academic performance.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
other
at loggerheads with them and argue that improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
are more entitled to the prize. This essay intends to articulate both this controversial view and thereafter I will reveal my view point On the one side, proponents of the former assertion put forward certain
Possible spelling mistake found.
argeement
to substantiate.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
predominantly
, they consider that considered that this could create a
highly
competitive studying environment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
have desire to win prize.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a consequence" or simply "consequences"?
a consequences
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
children could
be encouraged
to put their efforts into the study for the higher
Possible spelling mistake found.
scoreon
the other hand, supporter of the latter view point have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
valid reasons to justify their viewpoint.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
according
to them, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
the improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
efforts, it will encourage them to work even harder and achieve greater results.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this way, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
awarded to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
Did you mean "show"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'students' should be used.
shows
improvement more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their grades.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
having
aforementioned analysis into the consideration, it can
be established
that reward encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the highest scores. From my prospective,
Possible spelling mistake found.
althrough
, giving prizes to the topper is advantageous to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
yet
, it is more beneficial if we reward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their levels.
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IELTS essay Some people think that only the student who are the best academic achiever should be reverted other think that it is more important to rewarded student who show improvement. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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