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Studies suggested that children spend more time watching tv than they did in past and spent less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is case? What measures and method can be used to tackle it?

Studies suggested that children spend more time watching tv than they did in past and spent less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is case? What measures and method can be used to tackle it? e55jx
Owning to advent sophistication in technology the popularity of watching television increases to an large extent. And it is evident that, as compared to past, the kids spent majority of time on it as well as do not prefer to do any energetic or recreational activities. Further, in this essay I will discuss why such scenario happens and how to alleviate such issue. There are so many reason that influence the child to watch television. The first and foremost reason is that, they have their idols. Furthermore, they love to be like them and consider them as inspiration. For instance, there are so many actor and actresses appear on television this, children feel attracted towards them and want to follow them. In addition to this, plethora of programmes like comedy, action and cartoons telecast on television. Consequently, they get addicted to watch television due to such influences. However, there are myriad of solutions to alleviate such problems. Firstly, restrict hour to watch tv. Moreover, parents should encourage their child to play outdoor games and stop them to watch tv after certain time. Similarly, school should include the subjects that teach creativity and sort of activeness to children. Such as the class of painting and sports so that children develop their interest in that part and spend less time on watching television. Such solutions help to reduce the exposure to television on children. To conclude, it is irrefutable that, children at present spend majority of time to watch tv as they have idol as well as availability of various programmes. However, to ameliorate such problem, parents should put restriction on time of watching tv and subject that make children active and creative should be in school curriculum.
Owning to advent sophistication in technology the popularity of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
increases to
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
large extent. And it is evident that, as compared to past, the kids spent majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on it
as well
as do not prefer to do any energetic or recreational activities.
Further
, in this essay I will discuss why such scenario happens and how to alleviate such issue.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible agreement error. The noun reason seems to be countable; consider using: "many reasons".
many reason
that influence the child to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. The
first
and foremost reason is that, they have their idols.
Furthermore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to be like them and consider them as inspiration.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible agreement error. The noun actor seems to be countable; consider using: "many actors".
many actor
and actresses appear on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel attracted towards them and want to follow them.
In addition
to this, plethora of
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
like comedy, action and cartoons telecast on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
Consequently
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
due to such influences.

However
, there are myriad of solutions to alleviate such problems.
Firstly
, restrict hour to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
.
Moreover
, parents should encourage their child to play outdoor games and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
after certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Similarly
, school should include the subjects that teach creativity and sort of activeness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Such as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of painting and sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop their interest in that part and spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. Such solutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the exposure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
on children.

To conclude
, it is irrefutable that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at present spend
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
as they have idol
as well
as availability of various
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
However
, to ameliorate such problem, parents should put restriction on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and subject that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
active and creative should be in school curriculum.
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IELTS essay Studies suggested that children spend more time watching tv than they did in past and spent less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is case? What measures and method can be used to tackle it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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