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More and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes. Is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive or negative development?

More and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes. Is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive or negative development? yXXwJ
It is argued that numerous human are wearing fashionable clothes. In the contemporary day, human are likely to copy well known people or they try to show-off. This essay will examine negative development of this approach and provides logical conclusion. First of all, I think that, clothes are crucial material in human life which protect sensible and important part of our body. Also, in modern generation, garments are high-priced which people cannot afford it. Moreover, wearing expensive clothes causes diverse problem such as poverty, lack of money. If young people are aware about clothes, they tend to get value of capital. For example, 95% of people in this world used costly clothes at once only to show to their society, after some weeks they buy another items. In addition, individuals has intention that when they wear valuable clothes, people will think that they are rich and high standard family. Buying expensive clothes are some people hobbies which makes them happy and amusing. Furthermore, another negative development of this attitude are people are losing their relationship and they choose to be live with standard humankind. Despite using priceless garments, people ought to use simple clothes which make them intimate with other community. Consequently, this attitude provide negative minded thinking to pupils. Also, people are likely to show off in media owing to this modern generatio. People think that if they wear simple clothes, they will lost their reputation in groups. Recent servey The Times had published that because of elegant clothes people are not having foods in few nations due to the fact that they are trying to sell clothes in market in low price which leads to have some foods. In conclusion, unquestionably this problem has become a buring question of these days. Although having high-priced clothes leads good relationship, it will not stay long time despite human should focus on best goods regardless to elegant clothes.
It
is argued
that numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
are wearing fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. In the contemporary day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
are likely to copy well known
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people or
they try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
-off. This essay will examine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development of this approach and provides logical conclusion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are crucial material in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life which protect sensible and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our body.
Also
, in modern generation, garments are high-priced which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot afford it.
Moreover
, wearing expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
causes diverse problem such as poverty, lack of money. If young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
value of capital.
For example
, 95% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
at once
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
to their society, after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
weeks they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
another items.
In addition
, individuals has intention that when they wear valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they are rich and high standard family. Buying expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hobbies which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them happy and amusing.

Furthermore
, another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development of this attitude are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are losing their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
relationship and
they choose to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with standard humankind. Despite using priceless garments,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them intimate with other community.
Consequently
, this attitude provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
minded thinking to pupils.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off in media owing to this modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
generatio
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if they wear simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, they will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "lose"
lost
their reputation in groups. Recent
Possible spelling mistake found.
servey
The Times had published that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of elegant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not having foods in few nations due to the fact that they are trying to sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
in market in low price which leads to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foods.

In conclusion
,
unquestionably
this problem has become a
Possible spelling mistake found.
buring
question of these days. Although having high-priced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
leads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship, it will not stay long time despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
should focus on best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
regardless to elegant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
.
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IELTS essay More and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes. Is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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