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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. NrP3j
Nowadays, it is not unusual for high school graduate to move overseas and study their university study. In this essay, I will examine why scholars travel away to study their degrees. I believe that people choose to study touring, as they learn and experience about various cultures while studying. Students are educated not only the content at their courses, on the contrary about various people from different part of the world and their culture: music, language, food…etc. Therefore, these scholars gain extremely memorable experiences, which cannot be easily forgotten while attaining their qualifications. Another reason that people move away to study, is the fact that it is a new atmosphere, which plays an immense role in learning. In other words, there is a correlation between new place and learning. For instance, in 2016 I moved to Ethiopia and commenced to take a number of English classes to improve my English. During this time, changing surroundings contributed to my learning enormously. Even though, studying elsewhere is beneficial, I would not think of studying away, due to the fact it is extremely expensive. For example, as a number of researches shows, high school graduates from difference countries of the world spend more than 20 thousand pounds per year for their discipline in the UK, and I am unable to afford this amount of money. Another reason I would not travel elsewhere to study is, as it could be far from my homeland, consequently you can separate from your friends, family and your home for long time and not being able to see them, which is a disadvantage. In conclusion, although traveling overseas for university study has numerous advantages, such as learning about cultures and a good atmosphere for studies, I would not see myself studying touring due to its expenses and separation from friends and family.
Nowadays, it is not unusual for high school graduate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
overseas and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
their university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. In this essay, I will examine why scholars travel away to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
their degrees.

I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
touring, as they learn and experience about various cultures while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
. Students
are educated
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the content at their courses,
on the contrary
about various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the world and their culture: music, language, food…etc.
Therefore
, these scholars gain
extremely
memorable experiences, which cannot be
easily
forgotten while attaining their qualifications. Another reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, is the fact that it is a new atmosphere, which plays an immense role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
In other words
, there is a correlation between new place and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
For instance
, in 2016 I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to Ethiopia and commenced to take a number of English classes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my English. During this time, changing surroundings contributed to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
enormously
.

Even though
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
elsewhere is beneficial, I would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
away, due to the fact it is
extremely
expensive.
For example
, as a number of researches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, high school graduates from difference countries of the world spend more than 20 thousand pounds per year for their discipline in the UK, and I am unable to afford this amount of money. Another reason I would not travel elsewhere to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is, as it could be far from my homeland,
consequently
you can separate from your friends, family and your home for long time and not being able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them, which is a disadvantage.

In conclusion
, although traveling overseas for university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
has numerous advantages, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about cultures and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
atmosphere for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, I would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
myself
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
touring due to its expenses and separation from friends and family.
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IELTS essay The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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