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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.12

Obesity has become a significant health issue almost all over the world; associated co- morbidities have been putting a mounting pressure on country’s medical system. Some people believe that introduction of more sports and exercise to school children would be the optimum solution for this problem. Beginning at the level of the kids is indeed the ideal way to tackle this issue in the long run. Schools are the best place to start with in order to create a physically active culture because when kids become adults, they will keep on doing what they were taught at school. In other words, it is much easier to make something a habit for kids than grownups. So, taking part more sports in school, such as running, cycling, jumping and swimming, will therefore surely build an interest; in turn they will be keen on those activities over boring classroom lessons. Making things better is that they will keep on participating sports when they become adults. Hence, in the long term, this method would be the best to combat the obesity related health issues. In addition to that, children are a powerful mean to persuade their family members including parents, grandparents and other grownup siblings. Were youngsters to prefer outdoor activities than to watch television on Saturdays, adults will definitely get influenced by this behavior and will go out where they become more active. Adult involvement is the key to cut down the health care cost as they are the ones who suffer mostly from diseases associate with overweight, such as hypertension, diabetes and cardiovascular diseases. However, one may argue that healthy food habits would be the primary solution for the obese individuals. Of course, healthy eating plays a role in lowering obesity, but burning calorie is the long term solution, whereby all the metabolic diseases can be eliminated. In conclusion, among the methods available to fight overweight, the best one would be to involve school children in sports because it can build a new culture and more importantly, will foster adults to be more physically active.
Obesity has
become
a significant health issue almost all over the world; associated co-
morbidities
have been putting a mounting pressure on country’s medical system.
Some
people
believe that introduction of more
sports
and exercise to
school
children would be the optimum solution for this problem. Beginning at the level of the kids is
indeed
the ideal way to tackle this issue in the long run.

Schools are the best place to
start
with in order to create a
physically
active culture
because
when kids
become
adults
, they will
keep
on doing what they
were taught
at
school
.
In other words
, it is much easier to
make
something a habit for kids than grownups.
So
, taking part more
sports
in
school
, such as running, cycling, jumping and swimming, will
therefore
surely
build an interest; in turn they will be keen on those activities over boring classroom lessons. Making things better is that they will
keep
on participating
sports
when they
become
adults
.
Hence
, in the long term, this method would be the best to combat the obesity related health issues.

In addition
to that, children are a powerful mean to persuade their family members including parents, grandparents and other grownup siblings. Were youngsters to prefer outdoor activities than to
watch
television on Saturdays,
adults
will definitely
get
influenced by this behavior and will go out where they
become
more active. Adult involvement is the key to
cut
down the health care cost as they are the ones who suffer
mostly
from diseases associate with overweight, such as hypertension, diabetes and cardiovascular diseases.
However
, one may argue that healthy food habits would be the primary solution for the obese individuals.
Of course
, healthy eating plays a role in lowering obesity,
but
burning calorie is the long term solution, whereby all the metabolic diseases can
be eliminated
.

In conclusion
, among the methods available to fight overweight, the best one would be to involve
school
children in
sports
because
it can build a new culture and more
importantly
, will foster
adults
to be more
physically
active.
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IELTS essay The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with health care issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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