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The graph presents information about the percentage of people employed in the United Kingdom, Italy and the G7 average. v.1

The graph presents information about the percentage of people employed in the United Kingdom, Italy and the G7 average. v. 1
These days, several persons prefer being entrepreneurs rather than working for a company or organization. This essay will discuss the cause and also the drawback of being self employed. To begin with, people become self employed due to the rate of unemployment. Individuals who desire to work for firms find it difficult to get job placement, where they admire due to the competition involved in the labour market or as a result of qualifications barrier, thus, they are faced with the choice of creating jobs for themselves. For instance, a graduate of engineering without a job can decide to start-up a poultry farm rather than staying idle. Also, flexible work schedule promotes entrepreneurship because people would have time to plan their activities and decide what time to fix appointment with clients. To illustrate, a make up artist can choose how many clients she wants per day and when to commence a makeup session. Therefore, self-employment is influenced by unemployment and flexible schedule. However, distraction is a demerit of startups. This is so is because entrepreneurs can be faced with other demanding activities other than their daily target. For instance, a baker who works from home, may be unable to meet up daily goals, due to disturbance either from the call bell, family members or need to attend to house chores. Thus, it is seen that working from home has several distractions which acts as a drawback to entrepreneurship. In conclusion, although unemployment and flexibility are causes of self employment, a major drawback can be seen to be distractions.
These days, several persons prefer being entrepreneurs
rather
than working for a
company
or organization. This essay will discuss the cause and
also
the drawback of being
self employed
.

To
begin
with,
people
become
self employed
due to the rate of unemployment. Individuals who desire to work for firms find it difficult to
get
job placement, where they admire due to the competition involved in the
labour
market or
as a result
of qualifications barrier,
thus
, they
are faced
with the choice of creating jobs for themselves.
For instance
, a graduate of engineering without a job can decide to
start
-up a poultry farm
rather
than staying idle.
Also
, flexible work schedule promotes entrepreneurship
because
people
would have time to plan their activities and decide what time to
fix
appointment with clients. To illustrate, a
make
up artist can choose how
many
clients she wants per day and when to commence a makeup session.
Therefore
, self-employment
is influenced
by unemployment and flexible schedule.

However
, distraction is a demerit of startups. This is
so
is
because
entrepreneurs can
be faced
with other demanding activities other than their daily target.
For instance
, a baker who works from home, may be unable to
meet
up daily goals, due to disturbance either from the call bell, family members or need to attend to
house
chores.
Thus
, it is
seen
that working from home has several distractions which acts as a drawback to entrepreneurship.

In conclusion
, although unemployment and flexibility are causes of self employment, a major drawback can be
seen
to be distractions.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph presents information about the percentage of people employed in the United Kingdom, Italy and the G7 average. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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