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the chart below show the percentage of male and female students getting top grades in 1960 and 2000 Summarise and information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant v.1

the chart below show the percentage of male and female students getting top grades in 1960 and 2000 Summarise and information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant v. 1
In the past few years, we have seen a considerable rise in the broadcasting of criminal hearings on the public box. Although, there are advantages and disadvantages of this trend, however, I opine that telecasting the court proceedings has more drawbacks than the benefits and this essay will discuss them in detail. Admittedly, there are some basic advantages of showing the criminal trials of the TV set. Firstly, the public can learn a lot about the court proceedings and the legal system of the country by watching them at their homes. In other words, people will have more awareness which can be helpful if they become a victim of any such crime. Secondly, watching the criminal on trial can serve as a warning to others contemplating the crime. As a result, it can help to reduce the crime rate. For example, the United States government reported a 15% decline in the wrongdoing among youngsters in 2017 due to the televising of the law courts. Nevertheless, despite the above benefits, I believe that showing trials on the station has more drawbacks. One potentially dangerous point is that the public and media pressure might influence the outcome. Furthermore, the jury might not be able to clearly weigh the facts and decide the future of the offender in such situation. Another obvious issue is the coverage that the criminals get which can turn them into TV stars and this can negatively influence young people. As in the case Jay Simpson, for instance, the impact of public opinion was so great on the jury that 5 out 8 members decided to leave because of the unbearable pressure. By way of conclusion, despite the advantages, the drawbacks of an open TV set trial could be devastating due to the public and media pressure which might result in a lack of justice
In the past few years, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a considerable rise in the broadcasting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
hearings on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
box. Although, there are advantages and disadvantages of this trend,
however
, I opine that telecasting the court proceedings has more drawbacks than the benefits and this essay will discuss them in detail.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic advantages of showing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
of the TV set.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
can learn a lot about the court proceedings and the legal system of the country by watching them at their homes.
In other words
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have more awareness which can be helpful if they become a victim of any such crime.
Secondly
, watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trial
can serve as a warning to others contemplating the crime.
As a result
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the crime rate.
For example
, the United States
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
reported a 15% decline in the wrongdoing among youngsters in 2017 due to the televising of the law courts.

Nevertheless
, despite the above benefits, I believe that showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
on the station has more drawbacks. One
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
point is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and media pressure might influence the outcome.
Furthermore
, the jury might not be able to
clearly
weigh the facts and decide the future of the offender in such situation. Another obvious issue is the coverage that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
which can turn them into TV stars and this can
negatively
influence young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. As in the case Jay Simpson,
for instance
, the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
opinion was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
great on the jury that 5 out 8 members decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the unbearable pressure.

By way of conclusion, despite the advantages, the drawbacks of an open TV set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trial
could be devastating due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and media pressure which might result in a lack of justice
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay the chart below show the percentage of male and female students getting top grades in 1960 and 2000 Summarise and information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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