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The graph below shows the number of enquiries to tourist information office made by telephone letter email and in person from January 2001 to June 2001 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relev v.1

The graph below shows the number of enquiries to tourist information office made by telephone letter email and in person from January 2001 to June 2001
It is indeed a truth that in some countries, people manage to beg exceptionally high wages which as per some people's view is beneficial for the country, whereas others think that the government should restrain the wages people can earn. In my opinion, controlling wages paid to people is not correct approach and there has to be higher slabs of wages paid to those working at senior level. Those who earn high wages has to pay whooping taxes to the government, which can be used by the government for the betterment of the underprivileged section of the society, funding in defence and technology. Furthermore, they also invest their savings in stock markets, government bonds and bank fixed deposits which boosts economical growth of the country. It is also important for the government to think that those who earn more has more purchasing power which indeed an important factor in the country. On the other hand, limiting the wages paid to people will have a detrimental effect on the economy as well as on the society. It is disrespectful to those who plays a pivotal role in the development of the organisation they work in. They use their expertise and experience of well being of an organisation and hence they deserve to get higher wages. Controlling the wages paid to them will not only disappoint them, but also demotivate them. In my view, the government should utilise one portion of the taxes for people who earn wages below the set limit and pay them a certain amount as monthly wages. This will not only help them financially but will also keep them motivated. To conclude, I believe that wages should be paid to people as per their ability and seniority as the government cannot think of setting a limit on the wages and make it uniform for all the people working since it will leave people unsatisfied and will have a negative impact on the country as a whole.
It is
indeed
a truth that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
manage to beg
exceptionally
high wages which as per
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's view is beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should restrain the wages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
. In my opinion, controlling wages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
not correct approach and there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be higher slabs of wages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
to those working at senior level.

Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
high wages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay whooping taxes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
for the betterment of the underprivileged section of the society, funding in
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
and technology.
Furthermore
, they
also
invest their savings in stock markets,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
bonds and bank
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
deposits which boosts
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
more has more purchasing power which
indeed
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in the country.

On the other hand
, limiting the wages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have a detrimental effect on the economy
as well
as on the society. It is disrespectful to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
plays a pivotal role in the development of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
they work in. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their expertise and experience of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
and
hence
they deserve to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher wages. Controlling the wages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
to them will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
disappoint them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
demotivate them. In my view, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
one portion of the taxes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
wages below the set limit and pay them a certain amount as monthly wages. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
financially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them motivated.

To conclude
, I believe that wages should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as per their ability and seniority as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of setting a limit on the wages and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it uniform for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working since it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
unsatisfied and will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as a whole.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below shows the number of enquiries to tourist information office made by telephone letter email and in person from January 2001 to June 2001

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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