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The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. https: //www. testbig. com/sites/default/f v.1

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.
These days, people working duration are elongating which brings adverse effects on their health and relationships, especially with family members and neighbourhoods. Therefore, it is necessary to reduce working shifts. In my opinion, I totally agreed with the given statement. Initially, there are numerous companies and offices which force the staffs to make efforts extra hours. Although, they can earn huge amount of money, it might affect employee health and cause several ailments. Subsequently, insomnia is common among staffs because they do not get enough rest and sleep. For instance, my friend is working 24 hours a day without sleeping. Actually, during sunshine, she performs her duty as a nurse in one hospital and another hospital at night which cause severe diseases to her. In addition, those who sit on the chairs whole day and working on computers might be encountered with back pain and eye problems. On the other hand, spending a longer clocks on the offices create misunderstanding in the house. Likewise, most of the people are unable to spend quality time with family members due to work burden that could sometimes break their relation. Similarly, they are not able to participate in community activities. Following this, they do not know what is happening in their society due to the lack of social interactions. Finally, in order to solve this issue, it is necessary to reduce working hours. For this, the government should make strict rules and regulations against the person's who work more that 7 hours a day. Besides this, if the company insists the worker's to perform tasks longer time than usual, the government should be charged the company highly. In conclusion, the individual's have to face a plenty of drawbacks because of increasing working hours. So that, it has a high impacts on people's health and relation. So, it is necessary to restrict the working span from the nation.
These days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
duration are elongating which brings adverse effects on their health and relationships,
especially
with family members and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhoods' is British English.
neighbourhoods
.
Therefore
, it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
shifts. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

Initially
, there are numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and offices which force the staffs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Although, they can earn huge amount of money, it might affect employee health and cause several ailments.
Subsequently
, insomnia is common among staffs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
rest and sleep.
For instance
, my friend is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day without sleeping. Actually, during sunshine, she performs her duty as a nurse in one hospital and another hospital at night which cause severe diseases to her.
In addition
, those who sit on the chairs whole day and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on computers might
be encountered
with back pain and eye problems.

On the other hand
, spending a longer clocks on the offices create misunderstanding in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Likewise
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are unable to spend quality time with family members due to work burden that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
break their relation.
Similarly
, they are not able to participate in community activities. Following this, they do not know what is happening in their society due to the lack of social interactions.

Finally
, in order to solve this issue, it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. For this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations against the person's who work more that 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day.
Besides
this, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
insists the worker's to perform tasks longer time than usual, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
be charged
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
highly
.

In conclusion
, the individual's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, it has a high impacts on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health and relation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is necessary to restrict the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
span from the nation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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