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The graph below shows results of a survey of college going boys and girls activities other than academic studies. v.1

The graph below shows results of a survey of college going boys and girls activities other than academic studies. v. 1
It is true that many people do not realize the functions of our nature. I analyze this problem in several ways and also provide some steps to ease it. There are several reasons for individuals being unfamiliar with the meaning of the natural world. For starters, a large proportion of people are currently living in the cities, where most of the places are covered by modern buildings rather than forests or lakes. Some of them may think that natural resources are unnecessary any more in our lives. Another reason is that people are sometimes busy with study or work, and spend less time on caring the planet. As a result, it is difficult for them to understand its importance. Based on the above analysis, I suggest several practical measures to deal with this issue. As for governments, they should run campaigns to encourage us to know more about the importance of the earth. For example, they could publish some non-commercial ads on TV or the Internet to show how dangerous we are if we destroy the forest and hunt endangered animals for economic purpose. From the perspective of education systems, students could gain better knowledge of the nature, for instance, plants produce oxygen and absorb carbon dioxide. In this way, they are likely to pay attention to the nature around them as well as protect it. Finally, parents could visit natural sceneries during family trips to know more about their benefits. In conclusion, although there are numerous reasons for our lack of the importance of the natural world, I believe that we could tackle this crisis with the support of governments and education systems, as well as human beings.
It is true that
many
people
do not realize the functions of our nature. I analyze this problem in several ways and
also
provide
some
steps to
ease
it.

There are several reasons for individuals being unfamiliar with the meaning of the
natural
world. For starters, a large proportion of
people
are
currently
living in the cities, where most of the places
are covered
by modern buildings
rather
than forests or lakes.
Some
of them may
think
that
natural
resources are unnecessary
any more
in our
lives
. Another reason is that
people
are
sometimes
busy with study or work, and spend less time on caring the planet.
As a result
, it is difficult for them to understand its importance.

Based on the above analysis, I suggest several practical measures to deal with this issue. As for
governments
, they should run campaigns to encourage us to know more about the importance of the earth.
For example
, they could publish
some
non-commercial ads on TV or the Internet to
show
how
dangerous
we are if we
destroy
the forest and hunt endangered animals for economic purpose. From the perspective of education systems, students could gain better knowledge of the nature,
for instance
, plants produce oxygen and absorb carbon dioxide. In this way, they are likely to pay attention to the nature around them
as well
as protect it.
Finally
, parents could visit
natural
sceneries during family trips to know more about their benefits.

In conclusion
, although there are numerous reasons for our lack of the importance of the
natural
world, I believe that we could tackle this crisis with the support of
governments
and education systems,
as well
as human beings.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below shows results of a survey of college going boys and girls activities other than academic studies. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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