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The graph below shows how prices of 'high-tech gadgets' changed over time in Somecountry. v.1

The graph below shows how prices of 'high-tech gadgets' changed over time in Somecountry. v. 1
The innovation world has progressed in leaps and bounds over the last two centuries. New inventions are being designed and updated all the time like computers. It is inevitable that society needs to use them. In my personal opinion, what is important is how they are employed for the right purposes to honestly be evaluated how important those are. I extremely believe that if it happens, their benefits should outweigh their drawbacks. As the result, computer leads in term of the most significant inventions. No one can deny that the computers bring the people and their government to taste the creativity and developing. The computers maintain every part of human's lifestyle. For example, The hospitals and health care centres completely rely on different types of such ones starts from symptoms equipments, emergency tools and ends with well - programmed softwares which make the clinical staff more proudly, meanwhile the patients feel happier, more comfortable and confident to recover faster. That is besides those uses in the education system, entertainment zone and also to discover astronomy. On the other hand, the computers affect all places of the world. They make some countries economic developing more than others, so that the classification of the most influential countries also have changed. For instance, China and Japan are unique examples of the stronger countries; their types such as desktop PC ' s, portable laptops and even smart phones and watches reach the seven continents to allow the citizens from various nationalities to communicate and exchange experiences. Having made these points, it is true that every innovation receives some criticism. It is likely that they could be exploited by various authorities to gather data and then misused it or passed it on other organizations without people's knowledge. This is the reason why some argue such devices cause loss of privacy and things more dangerous. In addition, some automated machines and transportation controlled by computer to be used in the global wars so that millions of victims and thousands of million dollars disappeared, however such uses do not mean that I have to complacent the extent of how valuable the precious invention is. Ultimately, it is up to us to ensure that the computerized technologies are being used wisely to fairly measure their importance. Generally, I think people who complain are often too impatient and too short-sighted to recognize the numerous advantages of computers.
The innovation world has progressed in leaps and bounds over the last two centuries. New inventions are
being designed
and updated all the time like computers. It is inevitable that society needs to
use
them. In my personal opinion, what is
important
is how they
are employed
for the right purposes to
honestly
be evaluated
how
important
those are. I
extremely
believe that if it happens, their benefits should outweigh their drawbacks. As the result, computer leads in term of the most significant inventions.

No one can deny that the computers bring the
people
and their
government
to taste the creativity and developing. The computers maintain every part of human's lifestyle.
For example
, The hospitals and health care
centres
completely rely on
different
types of such ones
starts
from symptoms equipments, emergency tools and ends with well
-
programmed
softwares
which
make
the clinical staff more
proudly
, meanwhile the patients feel happier, more comfortable and confident to recover faster.
That is
besides
those
uses
in the education system, entertainment zone and
also
to discover astronomy.

On the other hand
, the computers affect all places of the world. They
make
some
countries economic developing more than others,
so
that the classification of the most influential countries
also
have
changed
.
For instance
, China and Japan are unique examples of the stronger countries; their types such as desktop PC
'
s, portable laptops and even smart phones and
watches
reach the seven continents to
allow
the citizens from various nationalities to communicate and exchange experiences. Having made these points, it is true that every innovation receives
some
criticism. It is likely that they could
be exploited
by various authorities to gather data and then misused it or passed it on other organizations without
people
's knowledge. This is the reason why
some
argue such devices cause loss of privacy and things more
dangerous
.

In addition
,
some
automated machines and transportation controlled by computer to be
used
in the global wars
so
that millions of victims and thousands of million dollars disappeared,
however
such
uses
do not mean that I
have to
complacent the extent of how valuable the precious invention is.

Ultimately
, it is up to us to ensure that the computerized technologies are being
used
wisely
to
fairly
measure their importance.
Generally
, I
think
people
who complain are
often
too impatient and too short-sighted to recognize the numerous advantages of computers.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay The graph below shows how prices of 'high-tech gadgets' changed over time in Somecountry. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
398 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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