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The graph below and the chart show the answers people gave about the extent to which they are satisfied with their lives and what they think would make them happiest. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compari v.1

The graph below and the chart show the answers people gave about the extent to which they are satisfied with their lives and what they think would make them happiest.
It is undoubtedly accepted by everyone that peace of mind plays a crucial role in our life; however, though it seems simple to say, but complex to describe it in simple terms. In my view, prosperity is the ultimate goal for any individual and the path is hard to find. This essay will explain the significant factors and certain difficulties to find it. Firstly, well-being is difficult to define because it is free of form and every individual finds it in different unique ways. In addition, there is a saying that ‘action speaks more than words’ in the same way doing what we love brings joyfulness for some, so follow your heart. For example, some people do not feel happy even earning millions, but a poor man can feel happy by doing what he loves to do without hesitation. Needless to say, doing what the heart desires can closely define enjoyment. Secondly, some crucial factors to achieve enjoyment are self-satisfaction and spending time with loved ones. Moreover, isolation can never bring joy, but spending time with friends and family brings real happy feelings. Similarly, social activities like interacting with people sharing experiences gives enormous pleasure for inner sole. Hence, living around good people and doing something beneficial to the society is good for society. In conclusion, despite how complex and complicated it is to express, yet many find pleasure in doing what they love and love what they do. The role of delight is too dire to ignore and it plays a key role in our life.
It is
undoubtedly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by everyone that peace of mind plays a crucial role in our life;
however
, though it seems simple to say,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
complex to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
it in simple terms. In my view, prosperity is the ultimate goal for any individual and the path is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the significant factors and certain difficulties to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
it.

Firstly
, well-being is difficult to define
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is free of form and every individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finds
it in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
unique ways.
In addition
, there is a saying that ‘action speaks more than words’
in the same way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
what we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
brings joyfulness for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
follow your heart.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not feel happy even earning millions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can feel happy by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
what he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
to do without hesitation. Needless to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
what the heart desires can
closely
define enjoyment.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial factors to achieve enjoyment are self-satisfaction and spending time with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
Moreover
, isolation can never bring joy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
spending time with friends and family brings real happy feelings.
Similarly
, social activities like interacting with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
sharing experiences gives enormous pleasure for inner sole.
Hence
, living around
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
something beneficial to the society is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for society.

In conclusion
, despite how complex and complicated it is to express,
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
pleasure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
what they do. The role of delight is too dire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
and it plays a key role in our life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below and the chart show the answers people gave about the extent to which they are satisfied with their lives and what they think would make them happiest.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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