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The graph and table below give information about four new painkilling drugs which have recently been tested on patients. v.1

The graph and table below give information about four new painkilling drugs which have recently been tested on patients. v. 1
In the technology era, people’s life is becoming better and better, leading to the fact that demands for living quality are on the rise. An abundance of the general public bear a thought that global union, is the only one to bring solutions to most of the imperative matter. To the best of my knowledge, I partly agree with the view mentioned. In the following essay, we will discuss the reasons of perspective. At the outset, perhaps the strongest argument with regard to the impossibility of asking for the aid of other countries is the different culture which can vary from countries to countries. Because each country would worship their own gods, the restrictions might be decided by their belief, which are selected thoughtfully to choose the best suitable for a country’s tradition. As a result, the residents are more likely to embrace the laws which are enacted to punish their dwellers. Therefore, the external intervention would be unnecessary. On the other hand, supports from other nations would be needed to deal with issues which have an influence on a widespread scale due to the powerfulness of developed countries. They have a major economics, conducive to gaining stable and enormous financial source, so it acts as a catalyst to approach those radical matters so that people can find a way to solve them. With greater ability and more innovative facilities, wealthy countries could solve any problems more quickly than any individual countries and consequently solve serious matters successfully. In a nutshell, the method to solve huge problems either domestically or internationally is both vital, depending on the matter the society is facing. From my perspective, global solutions would be more effective.
In the technology era,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life is becoming better and better, leading to the fact that demands for living quality are on the rise. An abundance of the
Consider using "public".
general public
bear a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that global union, is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one to bring solutions to most of the imperative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matter
. To the best of my knowledge, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view mentioned. In the following essay, we will discuss the reasons of perspective.

At the outset, perhaps the strongest argument with regard to the impossibility of asking for the aid of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture which can vary from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would worship their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
gods, the restrictions might
be decided
by their belief, which
are selected
thoughtfully
to choose the best suitable for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
tradition.
As a result
, the residents are more likely to embrace the laws which
are enacted
to punish their dwellers.
Therefore
, the external intervention would be unnecessary.

On the other hand
, supports from other nations would
be needed
to deal with issues which have an influence on a widespread scale due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
powerfulness
of developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. They have a major economics, conducive to gaining stable and enormous financial source,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it acts as a catalyst to approach those radical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can find a way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
them. With greater ability and more innovative facilities, wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
any problems more
quickly
than any individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matters
successfully
.

In a nutshell, the method to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
huge problems either
domestically
or
internationally
is both vital, depending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matter
the society is facing. From my perspective, global solutions would be more effective.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph and table below give information about four new painkilling drugs which have recently been tested on patients. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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