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Childhood is the best time in a person’s life. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

Childhood is the best time in a person’s life. Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
These days online shopping is becoming increasingly popular. Users find internet shopping very efficient and time saving. However, sometimes, people are subjected to cyber crimes and additionally compromise on the product quality. In my opinion, online shopping has more merits than demerits, even though it is precarious. Web shopping provides features to buy, exchange, and return the products just by a click of a button, thus avoiding the hassle of going to shopping malls or stores. Firstly, customers can book flights and movie tickets, also buy groceries and garments of good quality sitting indoors and get it delivered at one's doorstep. Moreover, If not satisfied with the product obtained, not only users can initiate a return or an exchange order and get it replaced with an alternate item but also get the amount refunded. For example, most of the online retailers in India provide 7 day replacement policy for most of the goods they sell. These offers are attracting numerous customers who find internet shopping very convenient. Despite plenty of advantages, increasing number of customers are receiving duplicate items, in addition, some are becoming victims of cyber crime. Sometimes, buyers end up giving actual payment details of credit or debit card to the hackers and lose their money. Furthermore, some dealers are engaged in shipping cheap or non original goods to the client. To exemplify, recent data released by CCAI (Cyber Crime Authority of India) show that, in Bangalore alone, more than 10 million rupees per annum is lost to internet frauds. Obviously, problems such as these has not encouraged the traditional shoppers to switch to websites. Online purchasing is growing inadvertently. It has become a common phenomenon to buy comic books, flight tickets, clothes as well as food items via websites. I believe, though e-tailing has some drawbacks, overall it is a positive development. So customers should continue to purchase online and take all the privileges it has to offer.
These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is becoming
increasingly
popular. Users find internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficient and time saving.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are subjected
to cyber crimes and
additionally
compromise on the product quality. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has more merits than demerits,
even though
it is precarious.

Web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
provides features to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
, exchange, and return the products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by a click of a button,
thus
avoiding the hassle of going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls or stores.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
can book flights and movie tickets,
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
groceries and garments of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality sitting indoors and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it delivered at one's doorstep.
Moreover
, If not satisfied with the product obtained, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
users can initiate a return or an exchange order and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it replaced with an alternate item
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the amount refunded.
For example
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
retailers in India provide 7 day replacement policy for most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
they sell. These offers are attracting numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
who find internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient.

Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of advantages, increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
are receiving duplicate items,
in addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are becoming victims of cyber crime.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, buyers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up giving actual payment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of credit or debit card to the hackers and lose their money.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dealers
are engaged
in shipping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
or
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non original
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to the client. To exemplify, recent data released by
Possible spelling mistake found.
CCAI
(Cyber Crime Authority of India)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that, in Bangalore alone, more than 10 million rupees per annum
is lost
to internet frauds.
Obviously
, problems such as
The verb 'has' is singular. Did you mean: "This has" or "these have", "these haven"?
these has
not encouraged the traditional shoppers to switch to websites.

Online purchasing is growing
inadvertently
. It has become a common phenomenon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
comic books, flight tickets, clothes
as well
as food items via websites. I believe, though e-tailing has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks,
overall
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
should continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and take all the privileges it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
offer.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Childhood is the best time in a person’s life. Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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