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The govt should make people take the responsibility for their actions to the environment. TO what extent do you agree? v.1

The govt should make people take the responsibility for their actions to the environment. v. 1
Good environment is very important for all living beings. In recent years, our surroundings are at the worst stage. The government should introduce it's as a peoples responsibility for protecting the environment. I completely agree with this statement and I put forth my views with suitable example. To begin with, every person has the responsibility to clean our surroundings and protect it. Some of them are spoiling our nature by throwing wastes, burning plastics etc. . This will cause many health problems, especially in the case of many diseases such as dengue fever. However, many people don't take initiative for cleaning the surrounding. To solve this, government should take some steps to protect it. The Governing body should make the people take the responsibility and also form strict rules for everyone. If anyone who doesn't do their duties, they will get punished. This is the only way to protect our nature. Moreover, first we need to develop a group for doing activities like cleaning, proper disposal, planting trees etc. . This will help to change everyone's mind and have the willingness to protect our environment. This will also help to decrease many types of disease from our surroundings. Also, government should give funds for implementing many useful things like bio gas plant in our society. To conclude, keep the environment clean and protect our nature. This will help them and our coming generations to get pure air and water. Otherwise, we don't get pure water, only get contaminated things from the nature.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for all living beings. In recent years, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surroundings
are at the worst stage. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should introduce it's as a
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "peoples'" or "people's"?
peoples
responsibility for protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I put forth my views with suitable example.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, every person has the responsibility to clean our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surroundings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them are spoiling our nature by throwing wastes, burning plastics etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
This will cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems,
especially
in the case of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases such as dengue fever.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't take initiative for cleaning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surrounding
. To solve this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
it. The Governing body should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take the responsibility and
also
form strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for everyone. If anyone who doesn't do their duties, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
punished. This is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
our nature.

Moreover
,
first
we need to develop a group for doing activities like cleaning, proper disposal, planting trees etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
everyone's mind and have the willingness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. This will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to decrease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of disease from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surroundings
.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should give funds for implementing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful things like
This word is normally spelled as one.
bio gas
plant in our society.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
clean and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
our nature. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them and our coming generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
pure air and water.
Otherwise
, we don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
pure water,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
contaminated things from the nature.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The govt should make people take the responsibility for their actions to the environment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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