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The government should support space exploration rather than recreational activities. Do you agree or disagree?

The exploration of the space should be expanded with more budget than the improvement on the recreation and sports areas. I agree with this statement because by exploring space people can have an incredible experience and open a chance to live on Mars. The space exploration project is a popular issue nowadays. More scientists believe that Earth is dying and people need to move to Mars because human breaks the environment and there’s no safe place to live on Earth. By having the exploration on space, the scientist can learn more about the potential for humans live in Mars and the government should support this project financially. For instance, if the scientist continues their exploration on the space, they will have more knowledge to carry people to the new planet, Mars. Human life will be helped by this project and there will be no human extinction. On the other hand, the space exploration can give some good experience for people to travel to space. Scientists can build a space station for business and people who want to have a space journey can try it. For example, if rich people try the space journey, they will see the scenery that they have never seen before. They can see the stars, which are other planets with their natural satellites, and if they are lucky, they can see the black hole. Based on quantum theory, there is a black hole on the space that can travel people to the different times. To summarize, spending more funds from the government budget to the space exploration benefits more people. The scientists can open a way to transfer human to live in Mars and people can also have an amazing journey to go to the space.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
should
be expanded
with more budget than the improvement on the recreation and sports areas. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have an incredible experience and open a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on Mars.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
project is a popular issue nowadays. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
believe that Earth is dying and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
breaks the environment and there’s no safe place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on Earth. By having the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
can learn more about the potential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mars
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should support this project
financially
.
For instance
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
continues their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, they will have more knowledge to carry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the new planet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mars
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
life will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
by this project and there will be no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
extinction.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
can give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experience for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientists
can build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
station for business and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
journey can try it.
For example
, if rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
journey, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the scenery that they have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the stars, which are other planets with their natural satellites, and if they are lucky, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the black hole. Based on quantum theory, there is a black hole on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
that can travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
times.

To summarize
, spending more funds from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
budget to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
benefits more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
can open a way to transfer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mars
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
have an amazing journey to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
.
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IELTS essay The government should support space exploration rather than recreational activities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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