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Farming is the backbone of every country, but nowadays, many youngsters hesitate to enter in to this profession. Why is this case? What can be done to avoid it?

Although agriculture is a crucial industry for every country, many youths do not prefer it as their career. Many factors are involved in this issue which will be discussed in this essay, and practical solutions to solve this problem as well. Negative perception and limited access to credit are the two leading reasons for leaving agriculture. The first factor has been created by societies that consider agriculture as a non-prestigious job and non-profitable as well. A profitable and a respectable job is what every parent needs for their children; therefore, children have been insisted since childhood rather to be a doctor or an engineer than to be a farmer. As a consequence, youngsters are reluctant to enter into farming industry, even though they are unemployed. The second reason has also demotivated potential young entrepreneurs. Banks turn away young famers because they do not think that farming is a viable business and that land is not a sufficient collateral. So that, youths are often unable to find the financial assistance they need for their business whereby they lose their interest and confidence in this industry. In order to solve this problem, some practical suggestions can be given. For the second issue, governments should make initiative by connecting young farmers with investors, organizations, and supporters. In addition to that, they can establish small financial institutions that can offer a jump start to youths interested in farming enterprise. This financial support enables youngsters not only to initiate their small farms, but also to experience new agricultural methods such as precision farming and satellite farming. As a result, farming will become more attractive and profitable industry; subsequently, society’s negative perception around farming will break. In turn, more and more youths will enter into agriculture, which will make it a prestigious profession. In conclusion. even though many factors make youngsters leave agriculture, it can easily be prevented by giving simple solutions; thereby, farming can be developed into an attractive enterprise.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
is a crucial industry for every country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youths do not prefer it as their career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
factors
are involved
in this issue which will
be discussed
in this essay, and practical solutions to solve this problem
as well
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Negative
perception and limited access to credit are the two leading reasons for leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
. The
first
factor has
been created
by societies that consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
as a non-prestigious job and non-profitable
as well
. A profitable and a respectable job is what every parent needs for their children;
therefore
, children have
been insisted
since childhood
rather
to be a doctor or an engineer than to be a farmer. As a consequence, youngsters are reluctant to enter into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
industry,
even though
they
are unemployed
. The second reason has
also
demotivated potential young entrepreneurs. Banks turn away young
Possible spelling mistake found.
famers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
is a viable business and that land is not a sufficient collateral.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, youths are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
unable to find the financial assistance they need for their business whereby they lose their interest and confidence in this industry.

In order to solve this problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical suggestions can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. For the second issue,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
initiative by connecting young farmers with investors, organizations, and supporters.
In addition
to that, they can establish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
financial institutions that can offer a jump
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to youths interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
enterprise. This financial support enables youngsters not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to initiate their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
farms,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to experience new agricultural methods such as precision
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
and satellite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
will become more attractive and profitable industry;
subsequently
, society’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
perception around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
will break. In turn, more and more youths will enter into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a prestigious profession.

In conclusion
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
even
though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
, it can
easily
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by giving simple solutions; thereby,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
can
be developed
into an attractive enterprise.
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IELTS essay Farming is the backbone of every country, but nowadays, many youngsters hesitate to enter in to this profession. Why is this case? What can be done to avoid it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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