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The government should spend more money in support of ats than in support in sports? do you agree or disagree

The government should spend more money in support of ats than in support in sports? wBXkn
Recently, the concept of how the government distribute its budget has been brought to public attention. Some people believe that government should allocate more funds for the improvement of sports; however, others claim that arts’ enhancement are more magnificent. From a personal perspective, government should distribute money for both aspects evenly, given that sports and arts have the same importance for the society. While sports are significant for people’s health, arts should be addressed for their contribution in developed civilization. Below I will strive my supporting points in more details. The first and foremost point, sports have a positive impact on society. Not only because it is very significant for people’s personality, but also, it is essential for their physical fitness. A vivid example that can be given to shed a light on what was elaborated above is in the developed countries such as United states and Canada people usually accustomed to play sport consistently which minimize the risk od some disease, such as diabetes and high blood pressure. Couple with better health, confidence is another benefit of the sport. Provided that people keep playing sports, it will be always refreshed and energized; furthermore, it has a crucial effect on their personality. Therefore, funding sports s imperative. Next, art is nor less importance than sports. Arts represent culture; to put in another way, when a society has vast arts that is mean it has a rich and fantastic culture. IN addition to that, arts serve as sorts of entertainments, such as movies and concerts, which are very important to people to socialize and communicate. Couple with entertainment, emotional impact is another reason why arts is very vital. Medicine and engineering students say they study better when they have music play in the playground. A recent survey done by The University od Toronto found that, students’ performance in a stander test improved significantly when Mozart was playing during the test, given that music improves general cognition in every field. Consequently, putting more money in arts is indispensable. Taking everything into consideration; without a doubt. Sports and arts are fundamental for any society. It suggested that government compromises to achieve arts/sports funds balance.
Recently, the concept of how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
distribute its budget has
been brought
to public attention.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should allocate more funds for the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
;
however
, others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts’
enhancement are more magnificent. From a personal perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should distribute money for both aspects
evenly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
have the same importance for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are significant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should
be addressed
for their contribution in developed civilization. Below I will strive my supporting points in more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

The
first
and foremost point,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
personality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, it is essential for their physical fitness. A vivid example that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed a light on what
was elaborated
above is in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
such as
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
United states
and Canada
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
accustomed to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
consistently
which minimize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
Possible spelling mistake found.
od
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disease, such as diabetes and high blood pressure. Couple with better health, confidence is another benefit of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. Provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, it
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'will' and 'be'.
will be always
refreshed and energized;
furthermore
, it has a crucial effect on their personality.
Therefore
, funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
s imperative.

Next
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is nor less importance than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
represent culture; to put in another way, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
that is
mean it has a rich and fantastic culture.
IN addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
serve as sorts of entertainments, such as movies and concerts, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to socialize and communicate. Couple with entertainment, emotional impact is another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital. Medicine and engineering students say they study better when they have music play in the playground. A recent survey done by The University
Possible spelling mistake found.
od
Toronto found that, students’ performance in a stander
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
significantly
when Mozart was playing during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
general cognition in every field.
Consequently
, putting more money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is indispensable.

Taking everything into consideration; without a doubt.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are fundamental for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. It suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
compromises to achieve arts/sports funds balance.
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IELTS essay The government should spend more money in support of ats than in support in sports?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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