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in the past, it was easier to identify a career that leads to a secure and successful future.

in the past, it was easier to identify a career that leads to a secure and successful future. oRDOV
In the last 30 years, the concept of choosing a secure career has been brought to public attention. Some people believe that in the past, it was easier for adults to opt for a career that leads to a successful future; however, others claim that people today could properly identify satisfying and secure careers. From a personal perspective, the latter point of view carries more weight given that people today are more educated and adapted to technology. Below I will strive to explain my supporting points in more detail. The first and foremost point, although people in the past had various job opportunities, they were not highly educated. One the other hand, recently, educating children has been improved drastically. A vivid example that could be given to shed light on that schools in the developed countries, such as Canada and the United States started to teach their students ideas and concepts instead of facts, which improves students' ability to explore topics and integrate information. Furthermore, this approach could show students how to learn instead of teaching a specific curriculum. To put it in other words, students could be actively participate in a class, not just passively, which enhances students' ability to think and augments their creativity and imagination. Consequently, proper education nowadays could amplify students' ability to get a secure career and build up their future with prosperity. Next, coupled with functional education, technological innovations are another noticeable reason to attain satisfying careers. Even though advanced technology is very intricate, adults could adapt to it quickly. For instance, high school students could use searching websites, such as Google and YouTube, to collect information about their future careers. Provided that youngsters use the internet, they could know the market need, which helps them to make optimal decisions. Therefore, technology is essential to make it easy for young people to identify secure careers because it could not only promote their expeience, but also boot their fundamental knowledge. Taking everything into consideration; without a doubt, it is easier for people today to opt for a career that leads to a secure future. It is suggested for schools design learning activities that help their students to choose a satisfying career, yet a secure one.
In the last 30 years, the concept of choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
has
been brought
to public attention.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that in the past, it was easier for adults to opt for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
that leads to a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
;
however
, others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
could
properly
identify satisfying and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
. From a personal perspective, the latter point of view carries more weight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are more educated and adapted to technology. Below I will strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my supporting points in more detail.

The
first
and foremost point, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past had various job opportunities, they were not
highly
educated.
Did you mean "on"?
One
the other hand, recently, educating children has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
drastically
. A vivid example that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on that schools in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, such as Canada and the United States
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and concepts
instead
of facts, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
students' ability to explore topics and integrate information.
Furthermore
, this approach could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
how to learn
instead
of teaching a specific curriculum. To put it
in other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could be
actively
Consider using a past participle here: "participated".
participate
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
passively
, which enhances students' ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and augments their creativity and imagination.
Consequently
, proper education nowadays could amplify students' ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and build up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
with prosperity.

Next
, coupled with functional education, technological innovations are another noticeable reason to attain satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
.
Even though
advanced technology is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
intricate, adults could adapt to it
quickly
.
For instance
, high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
searching websites, such as Google and YouTube, to collect information about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
. Provided that youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet, they could know the market need, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
optimal decisions.
Therefore
, technology is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easy for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to identify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
promote their
Possible spelling mistake found.
expeience
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
boot their fundamental knowledge.

Taking everything into consideration; without a doubt, it is easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
to opt for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
that leads to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. It
is suggested
for schools design learning activities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to choose a satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
,
yet
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
one.
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IELTS essay in the past, it was easier to identify a career that leads to a secure and successful future.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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