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educating children is harder today than it was in the past, because of cellphones, online games and social media accounts

educating children is harder today than it was in the past, because of cellphones, online games and social media accounts GMoDL
In the last 30 years, the world has become intricate and technologically advanced, which has affected children's education drastically. Some people believe that the technological inventions have a bad impact in children's education nowadays; however, there is a substantial body of evidence that casts doubts on this belief. From a personal persepective, today educating children is more accessable and easier than it was in the past given that technology has enhanced students' knowledge, intelligence and experience. The first and foremost point, implementing the internet usage in schools has many virtues on children's knowledge. A vivid example that could be given to shed light on that is public schools in California have designed learning activities on the internet, which promote students' desire to learn and increase their potential learning outcomes. Provided that students use the internet, they could open a door to a wealth of information. Consequently, technology has crucial benefits in the education field. Next, coupled with proper knowledge, intelligence is another benefit of technology. For instance, there is a specific games for kindergarten kids could be downloaded on cellular devices, such as iPad and cellphones, which enhance children's ability to read and write; moreover, high school students coud play online games that maximize their intellgible capacity. In addition to that, students could download many programs that could help them to undersatnd their academis materials. Therefore, technology could improve students' academic performane. Ultimately, experience is another subtle point that should be born in mind. In the past, there was no internet, so students could not search about any information that they want to know; on the other hand, students now use the internet searching websites, such as Google and YouTube, which enrichs their experience. For example, high school students could use the internet to integrate information about their future careers, so that could help them to make optimal decisions. As a result, they could build up their future with prosperity Taking everything into consideration; without a doubt, technology nowadays has vital role in children's education and underestimating its benefits is not logical. It is suggested that advoctes for education in order to continue to develop and progress.
In the last 30 years, the world has become intricate and
technologically
advanced, which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
drastically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the technological inventions have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
nowadays;
however
, there is a substantial body of evidence that casts doubts on this belief. From a personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
persepective
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
educating children is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
accessable
and easier than it was in the past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has enhanced students' knowledge, intelligence and experience.

The
first
and foremost point, implementing the internet usage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
virtues on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
knowledge. A vivid example that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on
that is
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in California have designed learning activities on the internet, which promote students' desire to learn and increase their potential learning outcomes. Provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet, they could open a door to a wealth of information.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has crucial benefits in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
field.

Next
, coupled with proper knowledge, intelligence is another benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
For instance
, there is a specific games for kindergarten kids could
be downloaded
on cellular devices, such as iPad and cellphones, which enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
ability to read and write;
moreover
, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible spelling mistake found.
coud
play online games that maximize their
Possible spelling mistake found.
intellgible
capacity.
In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could download
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
programs that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
Possible spelling mistake found.
undersatnd
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
academis
materials.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
students' academic
Possible spelling mistake found.
performane
.

Ultimately
, experience is another subtle point that should
be born
in mind. In the past, there was no internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could not search about any information that they want to know;
on the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet searching websites, such as Google and YouTube, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
enrichs
their experience.
For example
, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet to integrate information about their future careers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
optimal decisions.
As a result
, they could build up their future with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
prosperity


Taking everything into consideration; without a doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
nowadays has vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and underestimating its benefits is not logical. It
is suggested
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
advoctes
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in order to continue to develop and progress.
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IELTS essay educating children is harder today than it was in the past, because of cellphones, online games and social media accounts

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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