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The government should pay to the parents of very young children, so that one of them can stay at home and look after their children.

The government should pay to the parents of very young children, so that one of them can stay at home and look after their children. mLQQr
Today, in most families, both partners work to get money. Raising a baby is very difficult nowadays. Because of financial difficulty, some partners delay getting a baby. In some countries, the government pays the parents of young children. There are many people who do not get support from the government. Therefore, these people want to get support from the government. In addition, the statement also has both pros and cons for the government. The parents have to send their children to the child care centers or leave the children with a babysitter. Since the toddlers are very strange to the environment. Mother is the best person to take care of and teach new things to her toddler. So that one of them can stay at home with the child and take care of their children. By staying at home, they can get a good chemical bond with the children. Also for the mother, also need physical and mental rest after the birth. In fact, Mother cannot stay with her child, she has to go to work to solve the financial problem. On the other side, the government may have financial problems also. If the population of the city is less, it will be no difficulty for them. But if the citizens know that they will get financial aid, they can become opportunists sometimes. And for some people, they may be bored with work after taking a long leave. In my opinion, the government should pay the parents of young children. But the government should not pay the full percentage of the cost. I think the mothers also should work sometimes, they can work from home, but not letting them work heavy problem. So that their mental condition will still remain as before her maternity leave. And they can also live with their children, take care of them and teach new behaviors and social skills.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, in most families, both partners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
money. Raising a baby is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
difficulty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
partners delay getting a baby. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
pays the parents of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
support from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Therefore
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
support from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
In addition
, the statement
also
has both pros and cons for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

The parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to the child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
centers or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with a babysitter.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
the toddlers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strange to the environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mother
is the best person to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of and teach new things to her toddler.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that one of them can stay at home with the child and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. By staying at home, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chemical bond with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
,
also
need physical and mental rest after the birth. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mother
cannot stay with her child, she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
problem.

On the other side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
may have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
problems
also
. If the population of the city is less, it will be no difficulty for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if the citizens know that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aid, they can become opportunists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. And for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they may
be bored
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after taking a long
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
.

In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay the parents of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not pay the full percentage of the cost. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the mothers
also
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not letting them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
heavy problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that their mental condition will
still
remain as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
her maternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
. And they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them and teach new behaviors and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
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IELTS essay The government should pay to the parents of very young children, so that one of them can stay at home and look after their children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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