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The Government Should Lower The Budget On The Arts In Order To Allocate More Money To Education

The Government Should Lower The Budget On The Arts In Order To Allocate More Money To Education Gr3nm
According to present scenario many people believes that authorities should curb its finances on Arts so that they can offer more funds to the education field which will result it development of nation. I strongly agree with this statement, but I think government need to focus on arts area as well First and foremost, the union must be aware why they need to increase its share of spending on education as it results in a nation progress. In addition to it, increased standard of education will motivate the pupils to work harder in order to achieve their targets or goals which will ensure that children of that country are superior from other countries scholars because of better education infrastructure. Education will also help in technological development of the nation and making its citizens more responsible and more intelligent On the other hand, ministry should also shower its support to Arts as it gives information about the cultural values of the country. Like politicians make effort in order to safeguard the old building construction or monuments of India, as it helps in understanding that how magnificently construction was being conducted earlier. Secondly it is not possible for every pupil to have a successful career in some areas where education is must so for those students in order to make their livelihood Arts must not be ignored as they might be good in it In the end I would like to conclude that, although governments should increase its spending on education but they should not totally forget the arts area as well they need to do a little contribution for its well-being also
According to present scenario
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that authorities should curb its finances on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can offer more funds to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
field which will result it development of nation. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need to focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
area as
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
well


First
and foremost, the union
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be aware why they need to increase its share of spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as it results in a nation progress.
In addition
to it, increased standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will motivate the pupils to work harder in order to achieve their targets or goals which will ensure that children of that country are superior from other countries scholars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
infrastructure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in technological development of the nation and making its citizens more responsible and more
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
intelligent


On the other hand
, ministry should
also
shower its support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
as it gives information about the cultural values of the country. Like politicians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
effort in order to safeguard the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
building construction or monuments of India, as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in understanding that how
magnificently
construction was
being conducted
earlier.
Secondly
it is not possible for every pupil to have a successful career in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for those students in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their livelihood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
as they might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
it


In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
I would like
to conclude
that, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should increase its spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should not
totally
forget the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "arts'" or "art's"?
arts
area
as well
they need to do a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
contribution for its well-being
also
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IELTS essay The Government Should Lower The Budget On The Arts In Order To Allocate More Money To Education

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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