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My dream workplace when im loder

My dream workplace when im loder 55kDm
My dream workplace would preferably be at a clean and peaceful ambiance, nearby a lake inhabited with lively fishes and gorgeous white swans. I would also love it to be around shop-lots or malls and avoid the unnecessary traffic congestion and noise if possible. My office should also face a large glass window where I can glimpse the breathtaking sunset view when I'm working. A sofabed so that I could take naps comfortably could stay the night comfortably when necessary and a drop-down wall TV would also be a tremendous idea to enhance my office. Other facilities that I might consider constructing include a kitchen and a relaxation room with a spa or massage treatment. In summary, this is my dream workplace and hopefully, I would be able to work in such an environment one day.
My dream workplace would
preferably
be at a clean and peaceful ambiance, nearby a lake inhabited with lively fishes and gorgeous white swans. I would
also
love
it to be around shop-lots or malls and avoid the unnecessary traffic congestion and noise if possible. My office should
also
face a large glass window where I can glimpse the breathtaking sunset view when I'm working. A
sofabed
so
that I could take naps
comfortably
could stay the night
comfortably
when necessary and a drop-down wall TV would
also
be a tremendous
idea
to enhance my office. Other facilities that I might consider constructing include a kitchen and a relaxation room with a spa or massage treatment. In summary, this is my dream workplace and
hopefully
, I would be able to work in such an environment one day.
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IELTS essay My dream workplace when im loder

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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