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The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber-crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.3

The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber-crime and ensure safety of users. with this statement? v. 3
The increased use of internet has given rise to many serious issues such as cyber bullying, hacking, cyber fraud etc. In my opinion, such type of cyber crime has been burgeoned over a last decade and government should take preventive steps in putting a restraint over the undue usage of internet. To begin with, due to easy accessibility to internet, people are finding new ways to commit a crime. There are numerous fraudulent websites that are meant to hack the personal information of people like bank account details or residential address. Many people get trapped by these deceitful websites and consequently lose their money. Even many internet users get suspicious emails from unknown ids. For instance, several times I get emails of winning a million dollars lottery and thus asking for my bank information. To save people from such crime, government should ban such dubious websites. Various techniques such as firewalls should be used and there should be a continuous monitoring of such malicious online activities by cyber cell. In addition, the uncontrolled usage of internet is making a negative impact on youngsters. Many teenagers get addicted to pornographic websites and spoil their future. Several adolescents have become the victims of cyber bullying which resulted in many cases of suicides. For example, an online game named Blue Whale, incited many school children to perform atrocious tasks and eventually they tried to kill themselves. Since the youngsters are the future of our country, their safety is paramount. Government should enforce stringent laws and strict punishment for cyber bullying. Furthermore, the restrictions on internet should be reinforced, so that people can' t misuse the internet. In conclusion, in this era of media and technology, criminals use internet as an easy source to perpetrate a crime. Therefore, it is the responsibility of government to reduce this crime and save the public by controlling internet.
The increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rise to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious issues such as
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullying
, hacking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cyber
fraud etc. In my opinion, such type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has
been burgeoned
over a last decade and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take preventive steps in putting a restraint over the undue usage of internet.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, due to easy accessibility to internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are finding new ways to commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. There are numerous fraudulent websites that
are meant
to hack the personal information of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like bank account
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
or residential address.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
trapped by these deceitful websites and
consequently
lose their money. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
internet users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
suspicious emails from unknown ids.
For instance
, several times I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
emails of winning a million dollars lottery and
thus
asking for my bank information. To save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should ban such dubious websites. Various techniques such as firewalls should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and there should be a continuous monitoring of such malicious online activities by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cyber
cell.

In addition
, the uncontrolled usage of internet is making a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on youngsters.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to pornographic websites and spoil their future. Several adolescents have become the victims of
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullying
which resulted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases of suicides.
For example
, an online game named Blue Whale, incited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
school children to perform atrocious tasks and
eventually
they tried to kill themselves. Since the youngsters are the future of our country, their safety is paramount.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should enforce stringent laws and strict punishment for
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullying
.
Furthermore
, the restrictions on internet should
be reinforced
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t misuse the internet.

In conclusion
, in this era of media and technology, criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet as an easy source to perpetrate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Therefore
, it is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and save the public by controlling internet.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber-crime and ensure safety of users. with this statement? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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