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The government should close companies that provide toxic waste materials without their own waste treatmemt facility in order to protect the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v.1

The government should close companies that provide toxic waste materials without their own waste treatmemt facility in order to protect the environment. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v. 1
Nowadays, spending a great deal of time watching TV is becoming more and more common among children. For many of them, wasting time for television has become so important that they cannot even imagine the consequences. However, this trend has both positives and negatives and I will discuss some of the reasons, why watching TV is useful and some of the challenges to be overcome. On the one hand, there are several benefits of television. Firstly, TV set does not only produce different programmes with violent or censored scenes, but also it is the main source of informative programmes and educational shows, which can play vitally important on children's nurture and education. What I mean by this is that our young generation has the chance to broaden their minds through gaining various knowledge about the political situation of a particular country or global issues, like overpopulation, corruption and homelessness Secondly, watching the box is a good way for the youth to relax. It is many children's favourite way to wind down after a hard mental exercise or homeworks. This might be associated due to the fact that TV programmes can also be entertaining and enjoyable for everyone. Turning to the other side of the argument, watching television for an extended period of time may also affect negatively on children's health and behaviour. Children have become less healthy, as they spend less time playing outside, moreover TV screens generate harmful beams to kid's eyes, therefore children are supposed to have a daily schedule in terms of the time, that is spent watching the box. Another issue is that, various TV channels have scenes with violence which are becoming incredibly harmful for children's behaviour, because they usually copy the behaviour they see on the screen. In conclusion, there are clearly both benefits and drawbacks of watching TV for children. From my perspective, if they use television with the right attitude, watching the box should include more benefits than drawbacks.
Nowadays, spending a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching TV is becoming more and more common among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them, wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that they cannot even imagine the consequences.
However
, this trend has both positives and negatives and I will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons, why watching TV is useful and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
challenges to
be overcome
.

On the one hand, there are several benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
Firstly
, TV set does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
with violent or censored scenes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is the main source of informative
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and educational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, which can play
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
nurture and education. What I mean by this is that our young generation has the chance to broaden their minds through gaining various knowledge about the political situation of a particular country or global issues, like overpopulation, corruption and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
homelessness


Secondly
, watching the box is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for the youth to relax. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
way to wind down after a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
mental exercise or
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks
. This might
be associated
due to the fact that TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
can
also
be entertaining and enjoyable for everyone.

Turning to the other side of the argument, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for an extended period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
may
also
affect
negatively
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
health and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
have become less healthy, as they spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
playing outside,
moreover
TV screens generate harmful beams to kid's eyes,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are supposed
to have a daily schedule in terms of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, that
is spent
watching the box. Another issue is that, various TV channels have scenes with violence which are becoming
incredibly
harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
usually
copy the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on the screen.

In conclusion
, there are
clearly
both benefits and drawbacks of watching TV for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. From my perspective, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
with the right attitude, watching the box should include more benefits than drawbacks.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should close companies that provide toxic waste materials without their own waste treatmemt facility in order to protect the environment. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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