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The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree?

The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. GmRB
These days most governments fund all most myriads of schools. So that when the time comes the advantageous perk can be used for great use. Despite, the substantial amount of governments which try to allocate both time and money on teaching sciences rather then other subjects which are a good factor because of how well the country can develop and progress for years to come. However, the payment should also be applied on other topics. In this essay, the topic will be explained to a greater extent. Although, spending money on sciences, for example, biology, physics, or chemistry. Can help in many aspects such as medical science to implement cures, or construction of buildings, and even certain chemical compounds. On the other hand, another topic, for instance, history and geography should be funded because of how important subjects these can be. Yet, people might think it’s a waste of time these topics are what allow us to learn more about what our ancestors did, where they lived, what types of equipment were used in those specific periods. Since, most students study science to become a doctor, chemist, or physicist. On one hand, more demand comes from these jobs to annual salary can increase. On the other hand, as the demand for particular jobs is supplied the salary will drop to a lower amount where the job is worthless! However, the pay for geologists or historians is low there are other advantages that come with it for instance bonuses. In conclusion, governments can allocate their money to funding schools about science. It seems to me that, the money and time are best to be put in all types of subjects which allows the student to have a variety of options.
These days most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
fund all most myriads of schools.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
the advantageous perk can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Despite, the substantial amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
which try to allocate both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects which are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
factor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of how well the country can develop and progress for years to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
come
.
However
, the payment should
also
be applied
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topics
. In this essay, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
to a greater extent.

Although, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
,
for example
, biology, physics, or chemistry. Can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects such as medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
to implement cures, or construction of buildings, and even certain chemical compounds. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
,
for instance
, history and geography should
be funded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subjects these can be.
Yet
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it’s a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topics
are what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to learn more about what our ancestors did, where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
, what types of equipment were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in those specific periods.

Since, most students study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
to become a doctor, chemist, or physicist. On one hand, more demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
from these jobs to annual salary can increase. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, as the demand for particular jobs
is supplied
the salary will drop to a lower amount where the job is worthless!
However
, the pay for geologists or historians is low there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
advantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
come
with it
for instance
bonuses.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can allocate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to funding schools about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. It seems to me that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are best to
be put
in all types of subjects which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the student to have a variety of options.
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IELTS essay The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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