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Healthy people vs unhealthy people

Healthy people vs unhealthy people Wb9b
Nowadays there are lots of healthy and unhealthy people. So in this essay I want to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the healthy and unhealthy people. Let us take a look at the advantages of healthy people. For example, the advantages of healthy people is feeling better mentally regular exercise can lift your mood and help you feel better, saving money, eating junk food, smoking, drinking sugary drinks or alcohol this is all expensive habits and fewer health problems living a healthier lifestyle means a lower risk of developing many illness. On the other hand the disadvantages of unhealthy people is being overweight or obese, tooth decay, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease and stoke, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis, some cancers depression, eating disorders, smoking and drinking alcohol. This is The advantages and disadvantages of healthy and unhealthy people. In conclusion, healthy and unhealthy people should not smoke and do other harmful things for their healthy life style.
Nowadays there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and
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unhealthy
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people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in this essay I want to discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us take a look at the
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advantages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is feeling better mentally regular exercise can lift your mood and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you feel better, saving money, eating junk food, smoking, drinking sugary drinks or alcohol this is all expensive habits and fewer health problems living a healthier lifestyle means a lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of developing
Possible agreement error. The noun illness seems to be countable; consider using: "many illnesses".
many illness
.
On the other hand
the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is being overweight or obese, tooth decay, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease and stoke, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "cancers'" or "cancer's"?
cancers
depression, eating disorders, smoking and drinking alcohol. This is

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not smoke and do other harmful things for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life style.
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IELTS essay Healthy people vs unhealthy people

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
160 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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