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The Government should allocate more funding to teaching science than to other subjects so that the country can develop. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

The Government should allocate more funding to teaching science than to other subjects so that the country can develop. v. 1
Some people believe that teaching subjects that focus on science should be prioritized over the other subjects for a country to progress. As a result, the government should predominantly sponsor the programs that teach science at school and universities. In my opinion, I strongly agree that funding science-related education is vital as it educates people to appreciate the value of human life and contribute to the economic growth of the country. To start with, today's students are tomorrow's future, and in coming days, development entirely depends on technological improvement including various researches. For example, as per a recent survey in the medical, there is a requirement of research for making the effective medicine to fight with cancerous cell; however, due to dearth of funding in the field, it is difficult to do work in the available resources and without the help of trained support staff. Therefore, it is needless to say that by providing the much needed help could be proven a boon for not only students but also for the mankind. Furthermore, this is not a small area, it has manifold branches, and it is indispensable to strengthen each and every stream such as physics and chemistry. For instance, the recent example of Satellite Vikram which was prepared by the eminent team of scientists with a cost of rupees fourteen thousand million was virtually a successful event. Nevertheless, it could not have been possible if the required amount of aid has not been provided by the government. Consequentially, it is evident that for the development of the nation, the advancement in teaching science will provide pivotal support. To summarize, although it is irrefutable that the need to provide help in each sector of study is indispensable, to give additional support in the field of Science is the demand of the hour for reaping its benefit for the nation's use. I sincerely hope that the government will take the necessary steps in this area and will allocate the required amount of funding so that teaching methods can be improved to create more and more scientist.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that teaching subjects that focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
should
be prioritized
over the other subjects for a country to progress.
As a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
predominantly
sponsor the programs that teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
at school and universities. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that funding science-related education is vital as it educates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to appreciate the value of human life and contribute to the economic growth of the country.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's students are tomorrow's future, and in coming days, development
entirely
depends on technological improvement including various researches.
For example
, as per a recent survey in the medical, there is a requirement of research for making the effective medicine to fight with cancerous cell;
however
, due to dearth of funding in the field, it is difficult to do work in the available resources and without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of trained support staff.
Therefore
, it is needless to say that by providing the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
could
be proven
a boon for not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the mankind.

Furthermore
, this is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
area, it has manifold branches, and it is indispensable to strengthen each and every stream such as physics and chemistry.
For instance
, the recent example of Satellite
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vikram
which
was prepared
by the eminent team of scientists with a cost of rupees fourteen thousand million was
virtually
a successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
Nevertheless
, it could not have been possible if the required amount of aid has not
been provided
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Consequentially
, it is evident that for the development of the nation, the advancement in teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
will provide pivotal support.

To summarize
, although it is irrefutable that the need to provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in each sector of study is indispensable, to give additional support in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
is the demand of the hour for reaping its benefit for the nation's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. I
sincerely
hope that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will take the necessary steps in this area and will allocate the required amount of funding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that teaching methods can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
to create more and more scientist.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The Government should allocate more funding to teaching science than to other subjects so that the country can develop. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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