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The government should allocate more funding to teach science rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree? v.1

The government should allocate more funding to teach science rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. v. 1
Allocating funds from the government in the field of sciences is considered important for the progress and development of a country. I partially agree with this opinion. While it is important to provide sufficient financial help to the scientific researches, it is also necessary to give importance to other sectors too. Firstly, technology dominates the modern world in every possible way and as a result, advancements in science are a must. Providing more budget to teach science which is an important sector can help in this regard. For example, China and Japan have recently spent a lot towards technological developments and thus become powerhouses in today’s world. Robots have replaced humans in many jobs which was only possible due to a significant rise in robotic experiments. New inventions can only take place if there are enough finances and facilities available for looking into a specific matter. Improvements in sciences can help people lead a better life. On the other hand, sectors like arts or business also play a vital role in developing a nation. For instance, France or Italy is highly recognized to outer world due to high artistic histories. If there was no art or music, then there would have been no beautiful drama or soothing song in our world. If there was no business, no trading could take place in daily life. Topics like economics or history also contribute a lot to build a nation. Therefore, it is almost equally important sanction sufficient budgets for teaching those subjects too. To conclude, even though the current world is hugely affected by scientific findings, the government should take other areas into consideration too while providing funds. Only a good balance will lead the nation to a better future.
Allocating funds from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
is considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the progress and development of a country. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion. While it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to provide sufficient financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the scientific researches, it is
also
necessary to give importance to other sectors too.

Firstly
, technology dominates the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in every possible way and
as a result
, advancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
. Providing more budget to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
which is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
sector can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in this regard.
For example
, China and Japan have recently spent a lot towards technological developments and
thus
become powerhouses in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Robots have replaced humans in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible due to a significant rise in robotic experiments. New inventions can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
take place if there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
finances and facilities available for looking into a specific matter. Improvements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lead a better life.

On the other hand
, sectors like arts or business
also
play a vital role in developing a nation.
For instance
, France or Italy is
highly
recognized to outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
due to high artistic histories. If there was no art or music, then there would have been no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
drama or soothing song in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. If there was no business, no trading could take place in daily life. Topics like economics or history
also
contribute a lot to build a nation.
Therefore
, it is almost
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
sanction sufficient budgets for teaching those subjects too.

To conclude
,
even though
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is
hugely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by scientific findings, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take other areas into consideration too while providing funds.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
balance will lead the nation to a better future.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should allocate more funding to teach science rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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