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The government must implement tax on junk food to improve the overall health of citizens. Do you think this action reduces the consumption of junk food?

The government must implement tax on junk food to improve the overall health of citizens. Do you think this action reduces the consumption of junk food? 5BlGe
Nowadays, an increased consumption of ready to eat food consequences in a large number of health problems. It has been suggested to impose tax on fast food in order to offer a healthy life style to citizens. However, the question is whether the implementation of tax is an effective way to put an end to this situation or not. To begin with, taxing junk food will only deter the lower and middle income people, as it will discourage them to opt for fast food rather than cooking organic at home. However, most of the families belong to mentioned income class are working people and as matter of fact, with shortage of time, junk food are more appealing to them. Therefore, compromising on nutrients over the availability of ready to eat food is the only choice they are left with. Furthermore, affluent are less likely to be affected with tax imposition. Furthermore, besides taxing the junk food, it is rather more effective to educate people and create awareness regarding ill-effects of consuming fast food. To illustrate, Singapore one of the most developed countries of the world, majority of its people are compelled to buy meals rather cooking at home because of their busy life styles. Although they are solely educated with the health problems caused by this. However, the most effective way to stop this trend is to make healthy food more accessible and affordable. People take up junk food option as it gets ready in a matter of few minutes rather than buying, sorting, washing, cutting and eating home cooked food. To conclude, imposing tax on junk food will only prohibit lower and middle income people without affecting elites eating habits. However creating awareness and encouraging healthy life style by making healthy eating options more convenient and affordable is the only solution to prosperous life.
Nowadays, an increased consumption of ready to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consequences in
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
health problems. It has
been suggested
to impose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in order to offer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style to citizens.
However
, the question is whether the implementation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
is an effective way to put an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to this situation or not.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, taxing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
deter the lower and middle income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as it will discourage them to opt for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than cooking organic at home.
However
, most of the families belong to mentioned income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
are working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and as matter of fact, with shortage of time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are more appealing to them.
Therefore
, compromising on nutrients over the availability of ready to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
choice they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with.
Furthermore
, affluent are less likely to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
imposition.

Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Furthermore
,
besides
taxing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
more effective to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and create awareness regarding ill-effects of consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. To illustrate, Singapore one of the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
of the world, majority of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are compelled
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
meals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
cooking at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
styles.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
they are
solely
educated with the health problems caused by this.
However
, the most effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this trend is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
more accessible and affordable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
take up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
option as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
ready in a matter of few minutes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than buying, sorting, washing, cutting and eating home cooked food.

To conclude
, imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
prohibit lower and middle income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without affecting elites eating habits.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
creating awareness and encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style by making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating options more convenient and affordable is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
solution to prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay The government must implement tax on junk food to improve the overall health of citizens. Do you think this action reduces the consumption of junk food?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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