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the government invests all of its revenues with their taxes in education and healthcare

the government invests all of its revenues with their taxes in education and healthcare 1A2wW
There are many countries where the lifestyle is very good because the government invests all of its revenues with their taxes in education and healthcare and many environmental projects for the welfare of its populations. Something advantages could be: The population does not cheat in payment of its taxes because they know that will be reversed in projects for their benefit. But there will be people who complain about the number of them, because they work very hard to split their money with the government. On the other hand the country's have these guarantees for its population are countries with sound and prosperous economies, they can generate confidence in their inhabitants and in their government. A good example of this could be Canada, it is an organized country, with excellent quality of life, high education standards, low pollution standards, road infrastructure, all this because Canada has order, doesn't have corrupt people and has stricter laws than in other countries. The disadvantages of a citizen paying high taxes doesn't have much cash flow, but when the country is fair and invests the taxes paid by the working people, it is reflected in many benefits such as health, education, and progress of the cities. For example in my country people don’t pay many taxes, because we have corruption in the government and all the taxes we paid are lost, because the rulers steal them all and don’t invest taxes in that is really important, and consequently the country doesn’t progress and we have many people poor. In my opinion, political corruption exacerbates the country's poverty and eradicating poverty is a difficult but possible endeavour. In conclusion I totally agree with paying taxes to have more benefits and better education in the country. With education there are more professionals and a more solid economy.
There are
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many
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countries
where the lifestyle is
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very
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good
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because
the
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government
invests all of its revenues with their
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taxes
in
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education
and healthcare and
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many
environmental projects for the welfare of its populations.

Something advantages could be:

The population does not cheat in payment of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know that will
be reversed
in projects for their benefit.

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But
there will be
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people
who complain about the number of them,
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because
they work
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very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to split their money with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

On the other hand
the country's have these guarantees for its population are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with sound and prosperous economies, they can generate confidence in their inhabitants and in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this could be Canada, it is an organized
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country
, with excellent quality of life, high
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education
standards, low pollution standards, road infrastructure, all this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Canada has order, doesn't have corrupt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and has stricter laws than in other countries.

The disadvantages of a citizen paying high
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taxes
doesn't have much cash flow,
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but
when the
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country
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and invests the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
paid by the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it
is reflected
in
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many
benefits such as health,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, and progress of the cities.

For example
in my
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country
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people
don’t pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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taxes
,
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because
we have corruption in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
we paid
are lost
,
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because
the rulers steal them all and don’t invest
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taxes
in
that is
really
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important
, and
consequently
the
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country
doesn’t
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
progress and
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
poor.

In my opinion, political corruption exacerbates the country's poverty and eradicating poverty is a difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
possible
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with paying
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taxes
to have more benefits and better
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education
in the
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country
. With
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education
there are more professionals and a more solid economy.
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IELTS essay the government invests all of its revenues with their taxes in education and healthcare

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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