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Countries are free of education and healthcare

Countries are free of education and healthcare wO29Y
All citizens must pay a lot of money in taxes in some countries, including my country. However these taxes are used for useful things. In fact, citizens must pay a lot of money in taxes. Countries are free of education and healthcare, so in these countries children can take lessons freely and also in these countries citizens can consult a doctor medicul free. Thus people must pay a lot of money in taxes instead they get a lot of benefits and they live in each country's safety. There are other advantages, Most likely these taxes are used for military affairs. If there is no military in some countries, it might be aimed at other countries, so it is very important to live safely as well. And these taxes are used for other things. However there are some disadvantages. Needless to say, taxes are very expensive. Citizens must pay about ten percent to buy in my country. It is different in each country, but I think there are almost the same situation. And another disadvantage is that somebody can not take some benefits. For Example, there is a person, who is not married and who does not have child, free education is not necessary to him. And If someone is very healthy, it is not necessary to have free health care as well. I think we must pay a lot of money in taxes, but we do not know how this money is used, we have rights and duties of tax knowledge, because we always pay it. If we know more deeply and weare understanding, all citizens pay taxes easily.
All
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citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
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pay
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
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money
in
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taxes
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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countries
, including my
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country
.
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However
these
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taxes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for useful things. In fact,
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citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
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taxes
.
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Countries
are
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free
of education and healthcare,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
children can take lessons
freely
and
also
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
can consult a doctor
Possible spelling mistake found.
medicul
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free
.
Thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
a
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lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
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taxes
instead
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
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lot
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
benefits and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in each country's safety.

There are other advantages, Most likely these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for military affairs. If there is no military in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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countries
, it might
be aimed
at other
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countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
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live
safely
as well
. And these
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taxes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for other things.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. Needless to say,
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taxes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive.
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Citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
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pay
about ten percent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
in my
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country
. It is
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different
in each
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country
,
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but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are almost the same
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "situations"?
situation
. And another disadvantage is that somebody can not take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits.
For Example
, there is a person, who is not married and who does not have child,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
education is not necessary to him. And If someone is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
healthy, it is not necessary to have
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free
health care
as well
.

I
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think
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we do not know how this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, we have rights and duties of
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tax
knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we always
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pay
it. If we know more
deeply
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
weare
understanding, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
easily
.
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IELTS essay Countries are free of education and healthcare

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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