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The government investment in arts music and theatre is waste of money

The government investment in arts music and theatre is waste of money Gr7d2
In concurrent world, the substantial influence of national funding is an invertible topic. It is argued by few ethnic that the regime utilise in art music and theatre is waste of money or for these funds should spend on public fields such as education and transportation sector with the given notion and this and this treatise years would marshal and explicate the facts in conjunction a logical conclusion. Analysing and further explaining the refutable arguments in the favour of my sentence, primary the most spacious one is the don't solve the problems of society this is because if authority utilise their funds on ART and music activities so only those individual take benefits that are only interested and passionate about it a post not only those people that choose another field and sector for their career because of the is the other major implication like education and transportation of the city's government are not able to solve properly tu carbonate as per the article written in the tribune by its author in 2010 showed that in China Government held huge conference about art and music activity and they spend millions of dollars on it but it is fully wastage of money as per the article only 20% of China multitudes join this conference. Probing ahead, one more rational to substance at my correct that masses can develops as a hobby and saved money can be directed towards urgent need the because of whose people take art music as a hobby and earn sums of money that is not useful for whole world the they use this money only for fulfill their demands and dreams as compared to help boost world economy. To indicate, as per the research conducted by your present in 2011 show that 79% of people choose their career as a doctor teacher as compared to making future in art fields. After contemplating over huge accord of thoughts and specutations meticulously it can be concluded that although, spending money on public services are indeed to great. I believe that role of arts cannot be ignored.
In concurrent world, the substantial influence of national funding is an invertible topic. It
is argued
by few ethnic that the regime
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or for these funds should spend on public fields such as education and transportation sector with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion and this and this treatise years would marshal and explicate the facts in conjunction a logical conclusion.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
and
further
explaining the refutable arguments in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my sentence, primary the most spacious one is
Did you mean "they" or "that"?
the
don't solve the problems of society this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if authority
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their funds on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ART
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
those individual take benefits that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
interested and passionate about it a post not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that choose another field and sector for their career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Please check whether a word is missing between 'the' and 'is' or whether 'the' is the correct determiner.
the
is the other major implication like education and transportation of the city's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
are not able to solve
properly
Possible spelling mistake found.
tu
carbonate as per the article written in the tribune by its author in 2010
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that in China
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
held huge conference about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
activity and
they spend millions of dollars on it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
fully
wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as per the article
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
20% of China multitudes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
this conference.

Probing ahead, one more rational to substance at my correct that masses can develops as a hobby and saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
be directed
towards urgent need the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of whose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as a hobby and earn sums of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that is
not useful for whole world
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "they"?
the they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for fulfill their demands and dreams as compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
boost world economy. To indicate, as per the research conducted by your present in 2011
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that 79% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose their career as a doctor teacher as compared to making future in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
fields.

After contemplating over huge accord of thoughts and
Possible spelling mistake found.
specutations
meticulously
it can
be concluded
that although, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on public services are
indeed
Did you mean "too"?
to
great. I believe that role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
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IELTS essay The government investment in arts music and theatre is waste of money

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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