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some people believe that people have too many choices

some people believe that people have too many choices WE155
In this day and age, certain people hold the idea that human beings are granted multiple options. I wholeheartedly agree with this point of view that sophisticated technology has given us various choices. In the following essay, reasons will be discussed and supported by relevant examples. To commence with, it is intuitively obvious that cutting-edge technology has utterly revolutionized our lives. It means that indispensable digital devices such as smartphones, tablets, and laptops have made life more effortless and less challenging, and offer people a wide range of opportunities in almost any field. For example, people these days can easily boot up their computer, navigate a website to find the course they desire to learn, and just enroll in online classes in less than 10 minutes. What is more, not only can they make online purchases, but they also can receive their shopping at the door simply. As a result, technology has provided an adequate infrastructure for people to choose and live a more convenient life. In addition, in terms of the environment, companies can produce more environmentally-friendly products which people are interested in. In other words, some companies provide people with some products that can considerably contribute to clean air and good health conditions. For instance, battery-powered vehicles propelled by electric motors can be sufficient at converting stored enrgy to propulsion and reduce the CO2 emissions and eventually the air pollution altogether. Furthermore, governments nowadays, offer high-quality and more frequent public transport. To be more accurate, people are given the chance to choose public transportation system which lessens their need for private cars. As a result, people who tend to preserve the environment are offered widely to choose more eco-friendly vehicles and transportation systems. In conclusion, life has become simpler for people owing to a broad range of opportunities. And people have more various choices to choose among in terms of education, shopping, and commuting which is mainly provided by technology.
In this day and age, certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that human beings
are granted
multiple options. I
wholeheartedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view that sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
us various choices. In the following essay, reasons will
be discussed
and supported by relevant examples.

To commence with, it is
intuitively
obvious that cutting-edge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
utterly
revolutionized our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It means that indispensable digital devices such as smartphones, tablets, and laptops have made life more effortless and less challenging, and offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a wide range of opportunities in almost any field.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days can
easily
boot up their computer, navigate a website to find the course they desire to learn, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
enroll in online classes in less than 10 minutes.
What is more
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
can receive their shopping at the door
simply
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has provided an adequate infrastructure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a more convenient life.

In addition
, in terms of the environment,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can produce more
environmentally
-friendly products which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
products that can
considerably
contribute to clean air and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health conditions.
For instance
, battery-powered vehicles propelled by electric motors can be sufficient at converting stored
Possible spelling mistake found.
enrgy
to propulsion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the CO2 emissions and
eventually
the air pollution altogether.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
nowadays, offer high-quality and more frequent public transport. To be more accurate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
public transportation system which lessens their need for private cars.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who tend to preserve the environment
are offered
widely
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
more eco-friendly vehicles and transportation systems.

In conclusion
, life has become simpler for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
owing to a broad range of opportunities. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more various choices to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
among in terms of education, shopping, and commuting which is
mainly
provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
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IELTS essay some people believe that people have too many choices

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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