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the goverments spend milion of dollars in space programs. Some people think that is better to spend this money in problems closer to our home. v.1

the goverments spend milion of dollars in space programs. Some people think that is better to spend this money in problems closer to our home. v. 1
It is always a topic of debate with many people about where to live - city or countryside. Mass public thinks that life is better in the cities and others think it is better in the countryside. Both places have their pros and cons. In further paragraphs, I intend to discuss both the sides before giving my opinion. To commence with, in the city lifestyles is much better due to many reasons like the infrastructure, job opportunities, education, availability of health services and technology. People are more exposed to modernization in cities and can help them to earn more money, which helps them to increase their standard of living. But cities have their drawbacks, also like to increase in population and work opportunities, more and more industries are developed which affects the environment. Moreover, traffic problem, air pollution, noise pollution is more in urban areas which affects the health of the public living there. On the flip side, life in the countryside is much easier and pollution free. In such places, the environment is pollution free and the people living in such places is more healthy and stress free. Mostly their income depends on agriculture or small family business. However, job opportunities are less in rural places. In addition, many other problems like transportation, health care, education is more in the countryside than cities. For instance, in villages people find difficulties in getting proper health care. Due to this reason mortality rate is more in the villages. In conclusion, I would pen down, saying that, life in cities and countryside are different. In my opinion cities benefits overweight countryside's benefits. Basic facilities like health, education, job, accommodation is better in cities than in the countryside.
It is always a topic of debate with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about where to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
city or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. Mass public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that life is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
have their pros and cons. In
further
paragraphs, I intend to discuss both the sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving my opinion.

To commence with, in the city lifestyles is much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons like the infrastructure, job opportunities, education, availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services and technology.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are more exposed to modernization in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to earn more money, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to increase their standard of living.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have their drawbacks,
also
like to increase in population and work opportunities, more and more industries
are developed
which affects the environment.
Moreover
, traffic problem, air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is more in urban areas which affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the public living there.

On the flip side, life in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is much easier and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
free. In such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, the environment is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
free and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is more healthy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free.
Mostly
their income depends on agriculture or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
family business.
However
, job opportunities are less in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other problems like transportation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care, education is more in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For instance
, in villages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find difficulties in getting proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care. Due to this reason mortality rate is more in the villages.

In conclusion
, I would pen down, saying that, life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
benefits overweight countryside's benefits. Basic facilities like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, education, job, accommodation is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay the goverments spend milion of dollars in space programs. Some people think that is better to spend this money in problems closer to our home. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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